How to Get Your Guy to Go Down On You

Oral sex is a normal and healthy part of your sex life, but there are some people who are intimidated by the thought of it. It could be you or it could be your boyfriend.

The good news is that a little bit of knowledge is all you need to take control of the situation and begin to maximise the pleasure potential of your sexual relationship.

If you or your partner are reluctant to experience oral sex together, start off by considering why. There could be many different reasons as to why one or both of you are nervous or feeling negative about it…

• Is hygiene a concern?
• Does one of you have performance anxiety?
• Is there a fear of the unknown?
• Perhaps one of you has had a previous bad experience?
• Maybe one of you doesn't realise how much oral sex can improve your relationship?
• Does the thought of it make one of you feel squeamish?

Communication is top priority when it comes to creating intimacy and trust in a relationship, especially when it comes to sex. First you should try talking to your partner about oral sex. Find out what each other thinks about it, share past experiences, fears.

If you want your partner to go down on you, you should be at the stage in your relationship where communication comes naturally and there is trust between you. If not, then perhaps this is something you need to work on first.

Sure it can be intimidating to talk about something so personal, but what could be more personal than having a guy go down on you? If you're up for that, then surely you should be up for a conversation about it? 

Oral Sex: The Facts

Next you can solve many of the issues above simply by learning the facts about oral sex, and getting to know your body.

If you know everything there is to know about your body, then you are more likely to be able to help your guy understand everything that he needs to know, so that you can grow together and learn how to enjoy such an intimate experience properly.

So many couples make the mistake of not truly communicating with each other, and the result is that the oral sex isn't necessarily as enjoyable as it could and should be. At the end of the day neither of you are mind readers and you can't be expected to know how each other is feeling or what each other finds pleasurable unless you find ways to express it.

Vagina Myths and Facts

• Your vagina is not unclean. In fact it is self-cleaning because it produces its own secretions that are naturally designed to keep chemical levels exactly where they should be. If you are experiencing abnormal secretions that are coloured or possess an unpleasant odour, then you probably have an infection.

• Every girl's vagina smells and tastes different. These things can depend on your diet, whereabouts in your cycle you are, the material of your underwear… You don't have to worry about what your vagina smells or tastes like because your body is designed to naturally attract a male specifically through these physical traits. Just make sure that you are clean, and embrace your natural self.

• Your vagina is not ugly! Every woman's vagina looks different. Pale skinned girls tend to have darker shades of purple down there, whereas darker skinned girls tend to have paler pink shades. Some have very neat lips, others have very long openings, skin may be tight or more loose and crinkled. The truth is that men aren't comparing what your vagina looks like to other women's they may have seen, because they can't – no vagina is the same! There is no comparison to make. Each is unique. Besides the most important thing is not what it looks like, but how it feels – this is what your guy is going to be more interested in. If a guy is negative about the look of your vagina, the chances are he isn't mature enough to be down there! Any negativity is more likely to be fear of the unknown.

How to Give Your Guy Instructions on Oral Sex Technique

Just because a guy was the king of oral sex in his last relationship, it does not mean that his technique is necessarily going to do it for you! Every girl is different and it is important for him to pay attention to what turns you on.

There are some girls who prefer a harder approach, whereas other may be more sensitive. I know women who literally can't bear to have their clit directly stimulated, whereas there are others who can handle all sorts of vibrators directly on their clit, and may even need that direct stimulation to reach orgasm.

So never assume that he knows what he is doing if it is the first time he is going down on you. As far as you are concerned, he is going in blind and needs your direction and gentle guidance. There are ways of giving it though. You don't want to intimidate him or make him think that he's useless or doing everything wrong.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind…

1. Positive encouragement is far better negative criticism. If he is doing something that feels good, make sure he knows it! The more you show you are enjoying something, the more likely he is to continue. If he is doing something uncomfortable or not quite right, be subtle, make a suggestion or tell him him exactly what you want. He will be grateful of your instructions, especially if it leads to you jerking upwards in unexpected pleasure!

2. If you are uncomfortable talking about what makes you feel good, or you find it distracting, use sounds to show your approval. Heavy breathing when you feel something good building up is always a good indicator for him to keep doing what he's doing.

3. Help him along by tensing your muscles and allowing your body to react to the pleasure he is providing you with. You can arch your back, touch yourself, fondle your breasts, grab at the sheets… anything that displays the fact that you are having a good time.

4. Don't fake it! It's the worst possible thing you can do. If you exaggerate when you're not actually feeling pleasure you will just confuse him, and you will only be letting yourself down, because he will think he is doing all the right things when he's not.

How to Find Out (And Fulfill) His Sexual Fantasy

There is so much that can risk putting us women off – far-out sexual ideas, personal insecurities, the fear that we won't be able to live up to his expectations of the fantasy.

No wonder half of us aren't even aware of what our partners would really like to get down and dirty at – they are afraid that our reactions will be negative!

Finding Out His Sexual Fantasy

How do you know if your man has secret sexy fantasies you could take part in? Well, he may already be trying to hint at it, without opening himself up too obviously for rejection, or not wanting to immediately freak you out.

Often a guy will use a very simple technique that works really well to get a girl on board. It's called ‘planting the seed'!

If a guy plants a subtle seed in your head, all he has to do is nurture it a bit and watch the ideas form in your head voluntarily like they are your own. Watch out for any seed he may be trying to plant for clues as to what his sexual fantasies might be.

For example, does he whisper dirty thoughts into your ear when you are in public, or secretly fondle your feet and legs with his under the table, or graze his hand up your thigh when no-one is looking just high enough for you to feel those glorious first twinges of sexual arousal between your legs?

Is he trying to express that he enjoys the idea of having sex in public? Maybe he fantasizes about doing it in a park, or having a quickie in a dark alley or public restroom?

If you are fairly confident that you won't be intimidated or put off by whatever your guy's private sexual fantasies are, there is nothing to stop you from initiating the conversation and asking him what he visualizes when he is getting turned on.

If you think he might be cautious of telling you the whole story, then start off by talking about the things that turn you on, and make sure you include those bits that are a bit more on the risky side to give him the confidence and cue to open up as well.

Prepare Yourself for His Sexual Fantasy

If you are an open-minded kind of girl and eager to take part in your man's sexual fantasy, you may decide to do some mental prep beforehand to make sure you know exactly what it is you might be getting yourself in to.

There are some men who have very particular and intense fetish interests that you may know very little about. He probably won't plunge straight in at the deep end with you, but it will help if you prepare yourself first so that you know what to expect.

Otherwise you could just end up freezing or getting freaked out and the whole thing will be a turn off for both of you.

Remember: The point of sexual fantasies is that they only really work if you're both genuinely interested in trying it out and the idea turns you both on. if it is one-sided or you are just doing it to please him, there is no point.

You can prepare yourself by going away to do your own research into the specific topic, but just be aware that you could end up finding out all sorts of off-putting information that may have nothing to do with what your guy actually finds sexy. The best thing to do is to talk about his fantasy plenty with him before you get round to getting involved.

Mental preparation will not only prepare your mind and give you a better understanding of the fantasy itself and your involvement, but it will also sexually prepare your body.

The more you talk about fantasies with your partner and find out what turns him on, the more turned on you are likely to become, and your body will begin to ache in anticipation!

Once you are turned on by the idea of something, you don't have to worry so much about general hang-ups because your body and mind are already in a state of anticipation and sexual yearning. All that is left is for it to happen!

What Kinds of Sexual Fantasies Does He Have?

There is not one answer to this question, but here are some ideas that will give you an idea of what different men find arousing…

1. Sex in public places – He may find the risk element of being caught or discovered a turn-on. The naughtiness of secret yet public sex is thrilling and envigorating.
2. Threesomes – Men are visual which means they like to watch! Watching two women at once, while being involved in the interaction is mind-blowing for guys that like the idea of a threesome. It's also a huge ego-boost to have two women all over him and each other. He may even be into the idea of sharing his woman with another man because it turns him on to see you turned on!
3. Anal stimulation and anal sex (both ways) – Guys who are turned on by women's backsides are probably also into a bit (or a lot) of anal play. They love knowing that they are turning on a woman with sensations she may be unfamiliar with. They enjoy the idea that a woman trusts them enough to enjoy anal play. Some men also like to have their own anal areas stimulated! Anal sex can be sexy on so many different levels. Maybe its part of a submissive/domination fantasy?
4. Submission and Domination – This is a fantasy that allows him to play out a role that perhaps doesn't correlate with his everyday personality. Does he like the idea of an assertive and dominant woman? Or perhaps he enjoys having the power to make a woman feel comfortable enough to submit to her own desires and trust him enough to surrender herself to his sexual whim? This fantasy has less to do with control or violence, and more to do with handing over power and enjoying he freedom of someone else being responsible for your pleasure (and punishment). It is a lot about self discipline, restraint and reward.
5. Role Playing – Stepping into the shoes of a fictional character can be liberating and bring out assets of your personality you may not even know exist. If your man is into role playing he is turned on by experiencing sex with you in a variety of scenarios that mimic everyday situations in a sexual context.
6. S&M – If he is particularly kinky-orientated then he may enjoy experimenting with the pleasure and pain boundaries. The body, when in a state of arousal, can experience a wide range of stimulation through light teasing touches to harsh restraints. The pleasure comes from using specially-designed equipment, toys and outfits. Often S&M is part of a domination fantasy.
7. Bondage – Being tied up or restraining a woman can be exciting because it leaves one partner completely vulnerable to the other person's sexual actions. Often blindfolds are used to increase the anticipation.
8. Dressing up – Your man might have a specific preference to what he enjoys seeing a woman in, for example he might like tight corsets, or sexy lingerie, or outfits used in role playing.
9. Gender-swapping – Some men find it a turn on to dress up as a woman, and even engage in sex with them girlfriend dressed up as a woman.
10. Sexual Massage – Massage is a sensual way to extend foreplay, but it can also be a naughty fantasy. Does your guy secretly want to take advantage of you on the massage table?
11. Playing with food – Messy sex can be liberating and fun to play with during sex. Chocolate spread, whipped cream, ice-cubes are all foods that can enhance foreplay and give a guy chance to appreciate your body on a different level – your breasts smeared with his favourite flavoured desert, and your nipple peering out, wanted to be licked and sucked clean!
12. Playing with sex toys – vibrators, dildos, handcuffs, anal beads – you name it!
13. Sex with a stranger – The excitement of having sex with someone he doesn't know, maybe on a train or in a bar. You can dress up, wear a wig and be that sexy stranger!
14. Sex with a prostitute – Hiring a professional to have sex with is a common fantasy among men. It's a one-night stand with a woman who knows exactly what she's doing.
15. Being talking down to, or up to – There are men who enjoy being degraded believe it or not. And there are men who enjoy blurting out degrading exclamations about their women in bed. Each to their own.
16. Dirty talk – Hearing naughty words and sexy descriptions of what turns you on, or whispering not-so-sweet nothings into your ear during sex heightens the arousal for most guys (and girls).
17. Orgies – When there is sex going on all around you its probably impossible not to get aroused and want to get involved.
18. Swinging (having sex with other couples and swapping partners) – Is your guys attracted to the idea of a fluid sexual relationships?
19. Voyeurism (Watching other people having sex) – He may want to watch you secretly getting undressed or having a shower, he may want to watch you pleasuring yourself in front of him, he may want to watch the couple in the flat across the road having sex or watch porn while having sex with you!
20. Wild crazy raw or rough sex with lots of noise and oil and crudity – This is uninhibited carnal pleasure at its best.

Master The Woman on Top Sex Position: How to Ride a Guy

Sure everyone knows that the woman on top sex position puts the woman in control of her own sexual pleasure, but it also gives you the responsibility for providing your man underneath with pleasure.

How will you know if you are hitting all the right spots? How fast should you go? Does he like it at this angle? Will it hurt him if you bend back a bit? And so the questions begin to flow…

Soon you're not thinking about your own pleasure anymore at all because the whole thing is stressful and tiring – you had no idea he had to work so hard!

Woman On Top Attitude

The first thing in learning how to ride a guy is amending your attitude. If you want to wow him with this position, then you have to get the mentality right.

Being on top is sexy because it wreaks of power – even though you will probably feel vulnerable, exposed and be lacking confidence in your technique.

The whole point though is to be in control and enjoy yourself. If your guy sees you basking in the glory of riding his Big Fella all over the bed, then that alone is going to send him over the edge, you won't even need technique!

Follow these tips to get yourself feeling sexy and in control…

1. Do you have the right attire? Remember, the main attraction of the woman on top sex position is that he gets to see you in all your glory.

This is definitely the position to satisfy any man who loves to look at breasts, so make sure your breasts are looking their best! You can go for sexy lingerie, bras that give you a lot of sumptuous cleavage, bras that are made of sheer material so that he can see your erect nipples poking through.

TIP: If you are feeling self-conscious of your midriff because we don't all have flat tummies, why not wear a sexy corset or a silky night-slip to cover up any flabby bits that distract you while you are writhing away on top?

2. Clever tricks to make you feel powerful, and drive him crazy… There's going to be a whole lot of manly chest in front of you to play with, so why not paint your nails bright red to match your siren red lips and tap into his secret sex fantasies?

Every man has fantasized about having a sexy woman on top of him raking his chest in ecstasy with her pointy red nails – there's just something fetishistic about it. Give it a go, sometimes stepping into a bit of role-playing can give you that extra confidence you need.

You can even take it to the next level and leave on your heels! He will feel like you are his hot dominatrix lover or a sexy secretary. The imagination is a powerful aphrodisiac.

3. Don't be afraid to look him straight in the eye. Establishing this kind of connection in the woman on top sex position can be incredibly hot, and it gives you the opportunity to communicate with him through facial expressions, dirty talk, or even just a simple smile that reminds you that it's still just you and your man having great sex, with nothing to feel intimidated about. (note: eye contact is especially important if you want to connect with him on a deeper emotional level)

So now that you have gathered the confidence, you are ready to take action!

How to Have Sex in the Woman On Top Position

Don't worry it's not rocket science, just follow these simple steps so that you've got the basics, and then go with what feels good.

1. Make sure that you are both turned on. He should be hard and you should be wet.

2. Roll your guy over so that you can mount him. Once you're straddling with one leg on either side, you may want to tease him a bit before lowering yourself entirely onto his penis.

You can hover, brushing against the tip of his penis with your clit if it feels good for you, you can kiss his chest, stick your butt up in the air, even go down and give him a bit of a suck if he's not as hard as you'd like.

3. Then slowly use your hand to guide his hard penis into your vagina. Savor it. Move up and down until you have teased the head of his penis through the entrance of your vagina. Enjoy those sensations. Remember if you feel good, the chances are so does he!

4. Once he's in you might want to move up and down along the length of his shaft slowly and purposefully, tilting your hips slightly when you push down so that they rotate and you can feel him rubbing all the right places inside of you.

5. Don't rush into anything, keep the penetration steady, vary your movements so that he doesn't get too excited too quickly.

TIP: If you do the same thing for too long and he's really enjoying, he's gonna blow, so tease and make it last. Most importantly focus on building up your pleasure. It's not that difficult to get a guy off once you get going, so focus on getting yourself off first.

6. Try rotating your hips in circles to see how it feels. Try shallow penetration so that the head of his penis slips in and out and you can feel that wonderful ridge of his on the lips of your vagina.

Try long deep thrusts, using your PC muscles to grip his penis inside your vagina. Try bouncing up and down – but not too hard – it might snap!

7. Don't forget to get him involved too. He doesn't have to just lie there while you do all the work, you're going to start getting tired pretty quickly if you're not used to being on top, so get him to help you.

He can lift you up and down with his hands underneath your butt, or he can pull you down onto his penis with his hands gripping onto your hips. He can rock you back and forth… You can take the pressure off your legs too by using his thighs or chest to lean on.

8. Don't be afraid of letting your breasts bounce either, that's the sort of thing that will turn him right on! Men are visual, the sight of you bouncing up and down on top of him is going to send his straight to heaven, trust me!

A few more tips and insights…

• Be careful not to get too carried away. If you stroke him in the opposite direction you could end up fracturing his penis! Just keep in mind that it's not designed to handle all of your weight by itself.

• Experiment by turning around so that he has a great view of your back and butt.

• If you need a rest, you can focus on fondling his balls, kissing his chest, or slipping off his penis and going down on him.

The Final Secrets to Riding Him Like a Queen

Don't forget not to overthink things. When you are too self-conscious and nervous during sex, a guy can feel it, you can't relax and you can't enjoy yourself. The secret about riding him is being selfish. Basically, this is the time you use him for your own pleasure — and that's precisely the part he'll enjoy most: seeing how much pleasure you can get from him being rock hard inside you. What he wants to see is that you are enjoying yourself, completely.

So smiling and moaning loud with a wide open mouth are things that will turn him on and make him feel sexy (because he feels he's the one making you feel this good). The Take his fingers and out them in your mouth… suck on his fingers seductively, put them deep in your mouth as if you are giving him the perfect, most erotic blowjob… or even bite on his fingers naughtily and moan loud while you ride him faster and faster.

The key is that you seem as if you can't even control yourself from the ecstatic pleasure you're getting from being on top of him. And if you want to take it a step further, arch your back, hold onto his legs while you ride him fast (but do mix up the tempo occasionally), and see if he enjoys choking you gently, take his hands and put them around your neck. This might really turn him on and could even instantly make him erupt like a volcano.

Of course — all of this is impossible to do if he's not rock-hard. That's a prerequisite to riding a guy correctly: he simply must be rock hard and turned on completely, if he's just 80% erect, that doesn't cut it and doesn't make this position (you being on top) enjoyable to him. That's why you shouldn't just start riding him immediately, instead, ease him into it by first TALKING TO HIS MIND! (read this classic guide if you're not completely confident about talking dirty).

Just use the power of your voice and talk dirty to drive him wild with desire. The truth is that a man's orgasm begins in his mind, not just between his legs. The more turned on you can get his psyche, the harder his penis will be and the more pleasurable an experience he'll enjoy when you are on top of him. Especially if you can seductively whisper some dirty words into his ear. Then you can ride him into oblivion!

How to Get Your Guy to Go Down On You

Oral sex is a normal and healthy part of your sex life, but there are some people who are intimidated by the thought of it. It could be you or it could be your boyfriend.

The good news is that a little bit of knowledge is all you need to take control of the situation and begin to maximise the pleasure potential of your sexual relationship.

If you or your partner are reluctant to experience oral sex together, start off by considering why. There could be many different reasons as to why one or both of you are nervous or feeling negative about it…

• Is hygiene a concern?
• Does one of you have performance anxiety?
• Is there a fear of the unknown?
• Perhaps one of you has had a previous bad experience?
• Maybe one of you doesn't realise how much oral sex can improve your relationship?
• Does the thought of it make one of you feel squeamish?

Communication is top priority when it comes to creating intimacy and trust in a relationship, especially when it comes to sex. First you should try talking to your partner about oral sex. Find out what each other thinks about it, share past experiences, fears.

If you want your partner to go down on you, you should be at the stage in your relationship where communication comes naturally and there is trust between you. If not, then perhaps this is something you need to work on first.

Sure it can be intimidating to talk about something so personal, but what could be more personal than having a guy go down on you? If you're up for that, then surely you should be up for a conversation about it? 

Oral Sex: The Facts

Next you can solve many of the issues above simply by learning the facts about oral sex, and getting to know your body.

If you know everything there is to know about your body, then you are more likely to be able to help your guy understand everything that he needs to know, so that you can grow together and learn how to enjoy such an intimate experience properly.

So many couples make the mistake of not truly communicating with each other, and the result is that the oral sex isn't necessarily as enjoyable as it could and should be. At the end of the day neither of you are mind readers and you can't be expected to know how each other is feeling or what each other finds pleasurable unless you find ways to express it.

Vagina Myths and Facts

• Your vagina is not unclean. In fact it is self-cleaning because it produces its own secretions that are naturally designed to keep chemical levels exactly where they should be. If you are experiencing abnormal secretions that are coloured or possess an unpleasant odour, then you probably have an infection.

• Every girl's vagina smells and tastes different. These things can depend on your diet, whereabouts in your cycle you are, the material of your underwear… You don't have to worry about what your vagina smells or tastes like because your body is designed to naturally attract a male specifically through these physical traits. Just make sure that you are clean, and embrace your natural self.

• Your vagina is not ugly! Every woman's vagina looks different. Pale skinned girls tend to have darker shades of purple down there, whereas darker skinned girls tend to have paler pink shades. Some have very neat lips, others have very long openings, skin may be tight or more loose and crinkled. The truth is that men aren't comparing what your vagina looks like to other women's they may have seen, because they can't – no vagina is the same! There is no comparison to make. Each is unique. Besides the most important thing is not what it looks like, but how it feels – this is what your guy is going to be more interested in. If a guy is negative about the look of your vagina, the chances are he isn't mature enough to be down there! Any negativity is more likely to be fear of the unknown.

How to Give Your Guy Instructions on Oral Sex Technique

Just because a guy was the king of oral sex in his last relationship, it does not mean that his technique is necessarily going to do it for you! Every girl is different and it is important for him to pay attention to what turns you on.

There are some girls who prefer a harder approach, whereas other may be more sensitive. I know women who literally can't bear to have their clit directly stimulated, whereas there are others who can handle all sorts of vibrators directly on their clit, and may even need that direct stimulation to reach orgasm.

So never assume that he knows what he is doing if it is the first time he is going down on you. As far as you are concerned, he is going in blind and needs your direction and gentle guidance. There are ways of giving it though. You don't want to intimidate him or make him think that he's useless or doing everything wrong.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind…

1. Positive encouragement is far better negative criticism. If he is doing something that feels good, make sure he knows it! The more you show you are enjoying something, the more likely he is to continue. If he is doing something uncomfortable or not quite right, be subtle, make a suggestion or tell him him exactly what you want. He will be grateful of your instructions, especially if it leads to you jerking upwards in unexpected pleasure!

2. If you are uncomfortable talking about what makes you feel good, or you find it distracting, use sounds to show your approval. Heavy breathing when you feel something good building up is always a good indicator for him to keep doing what he's doing.

3. Help him along by tensing your muscles and allowing your body to react to the pleasure he is providing you with. You can arch your back, touch yourself, fondle your breasts, grab at the sheets… anything that displays the fact that you are having a good time.

4. Don't fake it! It's the worst possible thing you can do. If you exaggerate when you're not actually feeling pleasure you will just confuse him, and you will only be letting yourself down, because he will think he is doing all the right things when he's not.