I Put A Vibrating Alarm Clock In My Vagina — And Now I Wake Up To An Orgasm Every Morning

Good morning, indeed!
I finally got my hands on my very own Little Rooster vibrating alarm clock!
Also known as "the orgasm alarm clock," this thing isn't only an accurate and effective system for ensuring punctuality, it's an accurate and effective vibrator.

I hate waking up. Ever. I know this probably isn't normal or healthy and is probably related to my depression, but if I could sleep for 12 hours a day I would do it with no regrets. Every morning I have to get up in order to do things like "make a living" or "interact socially with other humans" feels like a personal attack.
At least, that's how I felt before going to bed with the Little Rooster for the first time.
I gotta admit, I was skeptical when I first wrote about this product last year. It seemed like a cute idea, but gimmicky more than anything else.
Would I love to start every day waking up with an orgasm? Absolutely!
However, I didn't think the design seemed well-suited to someone like me — you know, a fat person who typically goes to sleep without wearing underwear. Neither of these things seemed conducive to the clock's design.
So you can imagine how delighted I was when it came to pass that the fine folks at Little Rooster announced they were releasing a "curvy" model of the product, making it easier for women of all shapes and sizes to wear it comfortably all night long.
Still had to put on underwear, though, so, there's that...
The Little Rooster kind of looks like a tiny pink shovel. There is a long piece (the handle, as it were) which you place between your labia and a flat rectangle (the head... of the shovel part) that presses up flat against your mons pubis. This is where you can see the little digital clock and set it accordingly.

Your underwear keeps the whole deal in place.
It's a weird feeling at first, especially if you are a stomach sleeper like me. The first couple of days I tried using it, sleeping Becca kept yanking it out and hurling across the room without awake Becca's knowledge. Poor little vibe!
By the third day, I had finally gotten used to the way it felt.
It seems, however, that I had not quite mastered the part about how to set the clock versus how to set the alarm clock.
It's pretty standard, with just two buttons, but I found it kind of tough to figure out the difference between a.m. and p.m. on the little sucker. When I first I woke up to my regular (read: evil) alarm clock to find the vibrator decidedly not vibrating, I realized I had accidentally set it to p.m. — a fact I then forgot until 7 p.m., when I thought my cat must be having some kind of episode in my bed, only to discover the busy bee of a vibrator doing its thing as I'd programmed it to.
Day four was when the magic happened.
I'm a likes-it-rough kind of girl, so I adjusted the vibrations to be pretty darn strong. When the "alarm" went off, the vibrations started and they felt awesome, though very gentle. It was enough to wake me, but I hardly thought it would be enough to make me orgasm.
That all changed when the intensity began to rise. Before I knew it, my toes were curling and I was clamping my mouth shut to keep from screeching in pleasure and terrifying my roommate. I honestly have not gone a day without using it since.

Having an orgasm when you wake up? That's better than a cup of coffee, if I'm being totally honest. I awake refreshed and relaxed, my brain flooded with feel-good chemicals going to all of the right places. It's a treat and a half. If you're someone who likes having morning sex, this sucker will be heaven for you.
If that's not a testimony to how much fun this thing is, then I don't know what is! Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:20 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.

8 New Missionary Positions That Take Your Sex Life To The Next Level

You're welcome.
Why do we act like the missionary sex position is boring? While it might seem basic, it’s a tried and true method that can work wonders for lots of people.
Or, maybe you do like missionary and are looking for some new sex positions to switch up this “old fashioned” position.
Either way, here are eight new missionary sex positions that will keep you coming back for more guy-on-top.1. Missionary with your legs up.
This is my absolute favorite position and inspiration for writing this article. Simply get into missionary and throw your legs over your guy’s shoulders during sex. This is a great position for guys operating with XL equipment as it opens you up further and allows him to go deeper. It’s also fabulous for hitting your G-spot while still allowing clitoral stimulation as he's thrusting.
My partner and I climax at the same time from this position just about every time.

2. Try the Coital Alignment Technique.
The CAT position is one of our most popular, and for good reason! This technique is slow, sensual and almost guaranteed to make you orgasm because it’s all about intimate contact.
If you add a pillow and raise your hips to meet your man, you’ll definitely get plenty of clitoral stimulation from his pubic bone.
3. Kinky missionary sex position
While missionary is definitely considered a vanilla position, that doesn’t mean it can’t be kinky. It can also provide a non-threatening, familiar way for vanilla couples to try out kinks that interest them.
Use a scarf to bind your hands above you. After discussing it first, try using a scarf to bind one of your hands above you, experiment with some light choking, spank your partner’s bottom and/or permission, and/or give each other some love bites.
4. Take things into your own hands.

Since missionary means you get to basically chill out while lying on your back, use that to your advantage. With your hand or favorite vibe, stimulate yourself while your guy penetrates you. It’ll make things that much hotter for both of you and add to the probability of you BOTH reaching orgasm.5. The 'lock and load' modification.
This is an ideal position if your guy is on the smaller side, but no matter his size, you’ll definitely feel like he’s filling you up and he’ll be less likely to slip out.
Once you're in the missionary position, press your legs together and keep them that way. Try rolling your hips for some added intensity and control.
6. The star-crossed lovers' modification.
This is one of the best sex positions if your guy is a little too big for you, as he won’t be able to enter you quite as deeply. Once in the missionary position, have your guy turn to his side about 45 degrees so you’re lying diagonally from one another.

Even if this position doesn’t work well for you from a physical sensation point of view, it gives you a great opportunity for eye contact, as well as a fabulous view of your partner’s back and booty as he does his thing.7. Man-standing upright missionary
Relax at the end of the bed or whichever surface you’re lying on, bring your thighs up to your chest, and have your partner enter you from there. He can use this as an opportunity to move your legs however he pleases and really take control over how deeply he enters you.8. "The Dirty Dangle"
Note: This one is definitely best when you’re sober since the whole point is to get your head spinning even more than it already is! If you hate feeling dizzy or lightheaded, this position is definitely not for you.

Lay your head on the opposite side of the bed for this position and carefully dangle your head off the side, resting your arms on the ground if you're able to in order to provide yourself with some extra support. Then proceed with the missionary position from there!
Again, missionary might seem like your typical position, but it’s so much more than that.
The comfort and intimacy make it perfect every time, the relaxed stance makes it perfect for marathon sex, and the positioning, especially with these twists, is ideal for orgasms.
Whether you need a break from doggy-style or you’re just looking to change up your regular routine, give one of these positions a try tonight!
More smart and sexy content from Slutty Girl Problems:
The Science Behind Sexting as a Sexual Stimulus
Scheduling Sex: Making Sex Schedules Sexy

This article was originally published at Slutty Girl Problems. Reprinted with permission from the author.

The Unexpected Motorized Sex Toy That Makes Women Squirt

I know, because I've tried.
After all these years of trying, I was amazed to finally find myself having a G-spot orgasm and squirting in less than one minute using a sex toy with a very naughty name. But let's start at the beginning...
When Did I Find My G-Spot?
I have very stubborn nether regions. It’s not unusual for me to go 45 minutes to an hour before I orgasm. And this is while I’m masturbating by myself. My vagina is, in fact, so stubborn that I rarely orgasm for other people. And if I am lucky enough to have one it’s almost always from clitoral stimulation, not from my g-spot.
The G-spot, or Gräfenberg Spot, is commonly described as a ridged, rough, walnut or peach pit textured lump 1 to 3 inches into the anterior wall of the vagina.
It feels different on different women but most consistently I describe it as a knot or mass of dense tissue. It’s a hard lump that is more ridged and rigid on some women than others. If manually stimulating a woman who is lying on her back in front of you, you would enter your first and middle fingers into the vagina and firmly press up and down on that spot with a quick, rhythmic motion. 

Sometimes it’s described as making a “come hither” motion with your two fingers, however, I like to think of it more as “up and down” motion. The object isn’t to stroke, but to press with firm pressure. A good rule of thumb is to press with a firmness that seems a bit more forceful than you think you should.
I’ve often found I don’t have enough strength in my hand to press as hard as it takes to make many women orgasm via their G-spot. I admire the women and men who do, and am convinced they must keep to a strict regimen of upper body workouts. It can be A LOT of work!
Since I have spaghetti arms, I tend to rely on toys to help me out.
I had my first G-spot orgasm about 3 or 4 years ago.
That may sound strange coming from a woman who's nearly 40, has had multiple long term partners, loves to masturbate, and has a healthy, explorative view of sex, but not really. Many women tell me it also wasn’t until they were quite a bit into their adult life they found and learned how to manipulate their G-spots.
It takes quite some time and a lot of practice for women to master the inner-workings of their innermost parts. I can’t tell you the number of women I encounter who thought they knew themselves, had fulfilling sex in their 20s, only to hit their mid 30s and be blown away with all of the new things their bodies started to do and feel. I’m unsure whether these new discoveries are due to time and practice, due to something physically based that hits when women reach their “sexual peak” or for other reasons. I’m sure it’s different for all women. 

All I know is, it happens.
The Great G-Spot Debate
A January 2010 British study concluded G-spot didn’t really exist, stating it is instead a matter of the woman’s subjective opinion.
That’s nice way of saying, “You silly women are imagining it.”
Critics have now sited flaws in this and other similar studies, mainly because the data collected relied solely on self-reporting related to heterosexual penis-in-vagina intercourse. G-spot stimulation is much more likely to occur with the aid of toys or through non-intercourse sexual activity, such as manual manipulation.
Only 35% of the female population has ever experienced orgasm through intercourse — that includes clitoral and G-spot orgasm. I wonder if the other 65% were the women who took part in this survey? Sigh.
Unfortunately, this and many other similarly flawed surveys and studies made their way into human sexuality and medical textbooks, and so student doctors and therapists today are taught in universities that the G-spot and female ejaculation may not exist.
It is suspected if survey samples included more sex-positive, extroverted women, the conclusion may have been very different. Furthermore, it's possible the studies weren’t structured properly because the researchers themselves didn't understand enough about the G-spot to appropriately go about examining the issue.
I speak to a lot of women on my Weird Chicago Sex Tours and other classes I teach about their experiences with the G-spot and squirting. Time and time again I find women who either don’t know how to properly manipulate their g-spots or often, the ones who did find the spot were absolutely mortified. They thought they had urinated when female ejaculation occurred. Some had even been ridiculed by partners because they assumed the women lost control of their bladders during sex. These women vowed to never let it happen again, so when they experience the sensation of having to pee during sex (which is also the same feeling that occurs just before female ejaculation) they stop what they are doing or change position until the sensation subsides.
For many women, mistakenly trying to control what they believe is the feeling of urination actually causes the suppression of their orgasms.
What A Sex Toy Taught Me about Female Ejaculation (aka Squirting)
When I got a toy (called a my F*cksaw) this past Christmas, after witnessing what it did for me and for other women, I was determined to put it to the test. I was curious if I could, with any regularity, induce female ejaculation in various, randomly chosen women. What I discovered astounded me.
After using the toy two dozen times on two dozen different women, it produced not only G-spot orgasms —but squirting ejaculations every single time!
I couldn’t believe it. I had actually given a good number of these women their first g-spot orgasms. I also observed something unexpected about the ejaculate of the women, along with quite a few witnesses (Hey, I roll that way), which debunked what I had learned from numerous academic sources.
There is a lot of controversy surrounding female ejaculate — if it does exist, what is it? Is it urine?
A good number of mainstream sources lean toward the urine theory, even though evidence suggests ejaculate is expelled from the Skene’s glands located just beside and below the urethral opening on the anterior wall of the vagina. Ejaculate may contain trace amounts of urea (explaining the faint urine smell it sometimes has), but mainly consists of a lubricating liquid produced when the G-spot receives steady, strong, rhythmic pressure.
The liquid produced from each of the women I used the toy on were of various shades and consistencies, ranging from thin and watery to a thick, solid white, milk-like texture and everywhere in between.
Although I know, in my rational mind, female ejaculate isn’t urine, I’d still sometimes become paranoid when having intercourse that I was wrong. After sex I’d secretly sniff the towel that had been under me or closely examine the liquid when my partner wasn’t looking “just to make sure.” Even as a sex educator who knew better, there was still that little, internal part of me who would certainly shrivel up and die if I had accidentally peed while having sex.
The results produced with this sex toy couldn’t be denied. The female ejaculate produced from a wide variety of subjects was clearly not urine.
I have since stopped closely inspecting my towels.
Making the World a Better Place One G-Spot Orgasm at a Time
I’m a pleasure advocate and very much enjoy helping women have better orgasms.
Not too long after I had received the sex toy, a friend and her husband came to me with questions about female ejaculation. She had gotten to the point of feeling like she was going to pee during G-spot stimulation, but always asked her husband to stop each time because she was fearful she was about to urinate.
They had tried everything they could and even after getting a few pointers from me, still couldn’t make g-spot orgasm/squirting happen. This young lady had no problem achieving clitoral orgasm but had never before experienced any other type of orgasm.
Because we are all part of the kink community and in somewhat open relationships, it wasn’t out of the norm for me to get together with this couple to see if I could help. I started out manually manipulating the woman, employing the assistance of vibrators to give her a clitoral orgasm. I find G-spot orgasm much easier to achieve after a woman has been warmed up clitorally.
When she was ready, I used a curved dildo with a large bulb on one end to stimulate her G-spot. This type of shape is excellent for female ejaculation and one I usually recommend for beginning squirters.
Suddenly, she said she felt as if she was about to urinate. I told her that was the sensation she wanted and to relax her pelvic floor muscles and go with it — she was almost there! I had even lined the bed ahead of time with absorbent pads and plastic sheeting to allow her to become more comfortable with the feeling of letting go.
Manual stimulation of the G-spot with a dildo takes some time, and as the pressure kept building she became more and more certain she was about to urinate. That’s when she asked me to stop. The sensation of having to pee was causing her to unknowingly suppress her G-spot orgasm.

How Your Orgasms Change Throughout Your Mentrual Cycle

Another great reason to track your menstrual cycle.
By Amy Mackelden
As anyone who has experienced a period will know, menstrual cycles are a complicated business. Not only can cycles be unpredictable — even the best period monitoring app in the world can’t seem to tell me when I’m ovulating — they can also affect a person’s orgasm.

I often have sex on my period and am a big believer in having sex as often as possible, mainly because it makes my body feel so much better (the healing powers and painkilling properties of orgasms). But one thing I’ve noticed is that my orgasms change in intensity and sensation throughout my menstrual cycle
. While one week I might experience intense and full body orgasms, the next week the climax could be altogether duller and muted.
According to Psychology Today, several studies have determined that a person’s menstrual cycle has an automatic effect on their orgasms. As the publication notes, the University of Virginia, Charlottesville, conducted a survey charting 115 women, aged between 23 to 45, and that “the women reported significantly more interest in sex and greater satisfaction from orgasm at mid-cycle.” Similarly, Dutch researchers found that “genital blood flow increased the most around the time of ovulation,” leading to stronger orgasms.

As Psychology Today concludes, there’s a definite link between women’s orgasms and their menstrual cycles.Redbook spoke to Dr. Jamie Knopman
 who said, “The cervix also changes position around the time of ovulation—its position becomes more ‘comfortable’ when you are ovulating, making intercourse less uncomfortable.” Basically, changes happening in your body linked to your menstrual cycle could be making sex better and increase the chances of having an orgasm.
The creators behind the period tracking app Glow shared their research with SheKnows, taking “7.6 million sexual encounters into consideration.” According to their findings, “orgasm potential is directly related to when you get your period.” While the exact timing of the perfect orgasm might vary from person to person, Glow’s research suggests that most women will be at their horniest one week before their period. And the scientific reason for this? “Because while a woman’s testosterone levels drop then, her libido increases, because her uterine lining is thickening.”
So the science might not sound sexy, but the changes in testosterone levels make sense.

For me, my orgasms vary massively depending on how my body is feeling, altered by both my menstrual cycle and my chronic illness. Consistently, my orgasms feel less intense in the week leading up to my period, despite sex still being enjoyable. When I reach the climax, during this time, my orgasms often feel zapped of intensity, or they fail to send pleasure in all of the directions it’s meant to go. Conversely, during and right after my period my orgasm usually feel fuller, more powerful, and filled with twanging muscle spasms.
That there’s a reason for these changes, and a pattern that develops each month, is reassuring.

7 Crazy Sex Positions That Put Missionary To Shame

Have you heard of the scissor table top!?!
Many heterosexual couples have trouble getting the same amount of pleasure during sex. This is mostly because a lot of women can't orgasm from penetration alone and many sex positions don't stimulate the clitoris to give her pleasure. Another common problem in the bedroom is getting bored of the same routine.
We decided to tackle these common problems by giving you seven crazy sex positions
 that will be anything but ordinary and stimulating enough to get you both off. Enjoy!

1. The Lotus
This sex position is just as intimate as the spooning position, or perhaps better since you get to be face to face with your partner. Have your guy sit with his legs crossed. Then get on top of him, facing him with your legs wrapped around his torso.
Since the woman is on top she is able to control the motions that she needs to orgasm. Also, this position allows a lot of contact with the clitoris as well as deep penetration. Win-win.
2. The Scissor Table Top
Give your bed a break by having fun on a table top. Lie down on your table with your butt close to the edge. Lift both legs up in the air to a 90 degree angle and then have your man enter you. You can then cross your legs (or do this step before he enters you, whichever is easier). The crossing of the legs will increase the friction of his movements which will definitely lead you both to a great big O.

3. Dirty Dancing
Get ready to get off balance with this wild and crazy position. This position is great for public places since you don't need to get on a flat surface to do it. Also, if you are wearing a dress or a skirt then you can stay clothed.
Have your man lean against a wall. Face him, then get on top of him and have him enter you. Your man can hold up one leg to keep a good angle while your other leg is standing on the ground between his legs. Start rocking away in order to get a big finish. This will definitely be more effective naked if your goal is an orgasm.
4. The X
If you're the type to give your man a lap dance, then this might be the sex position for you. The reason is because it will be an easy transition, since this position requires a chair. To get in position, have your man sit in the chair, lean back and stretch out his legs.
Next, get on top facing him, stretch out your legs, and have him hold onto your arms for support. Ride him until you both are completely satisfied.
5. The Spider
Are you up for taking things much slower tonight? Well, the spider might be a good choice for you. In order to get started, face your man on the bed with your legs at each of his sides. His legs also need to be at your sides. This will be a good time to have him enter you.
You both can lie back and bring your legs up, but bent at the knee. You can then slowly move into the rhythm that suits you. To get more pleasure out of this position, it is advisable to add a vibrator into the mix for the woman.
6. The Sexual Plank

This is definitely a good challenge for athletic types. To get started, get on all fours and then have your man get behind you, pick up your legs and enter you. This position is just as good as doggie when it comes to stimulating the G-spot, and it's even better at giving you a good upper arm workout.
7. The MegaHurtz
Calling all yogis! This position has your name on it. In order to get in position, you need to get on the floor. Afterward, get upside down on your own or with the help of your partner. You will then rest on the floor with your hands supporting you, and your head cocked to the side.Most of your weight should be resting on the shoulder that's on the floor. Then spread your legs as far as you can so your man can stand in between them and enter you. This position will definitely give you a head rush and both of you so much pleasure.

Why Women Get Turned On By 'Psycho' Boyfriend ASMR Videos On YouTube

Yes, it's a very real thing.
It's no longer a big secret that the majority of women have had a rape fantasy or two over the course of their lives, but unless you regularly frequent Reddit and other such underground-ish message boards, you may be surprised to learn about a growing trend of women getting turned on and experiencing "braingasms" while watching a niche trend of ASMR role play videos featuring the whispers of a possessive, jealous, 'psycho' boyfriend as he talks about abusing, threatening, and possibly even kidnapping them.
All of which raises multiple good questions.
In particular, what is ASMR, why would a woman enjoy hearing a jealous man whispering about the ways he intends to harm her ... and could watching be a way for you to have orgasms, too?
To begin, Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) is defined as "an experience characterized by a static-like or tingling sensation on the skin that typically begins on the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and upper spine."
The concept can be better understood when the term is broken down as follows:

Autonomous: spontaneous, self-governing, with or without control
Sensory: pertaining to senses or sensation
Meridian: a peak, climax or highest point
Response: experience triggered by something external or internal
Most commonly, this phenomenon produces a state of relaxation, and so most ASMR videos are intended to soothe, with many people saying they find their favorite videos so compelling that they often find themselves lulled into a sort of trance.
People describe the ASMR response as feeling like the "tingles" you receive when you get shocked by a mild electrical current, and it appears to results from having your senses and/of sight or sound triggered by various types of outside stimulation.
Some common triggers leading to an ASMR reaction include:
Listening to a whispering voice, particularly near your ear or where you must strain to hear.

Listening to repetitive, usually quiet sounds, such as keys clicking as someone types or pages turning in a book.
Watching someone do a mundane task a central focus point.
Listening to someone explain a concept or describe an object.
Little "formal" research has been done ASMR to date, but a study conducted in 2015 identified four prominent categories of triggers.
According to the findings of a study conducted by Emma L. Barratt and Nick J. Davis of the Department of Psychology at Swansea University in the UK, more than 50% of the 475 participants reported to feel an ASMR reaction triggered by whispering (75%), personal attention (69%), crisp sounds such as metallic foil or tapping fingernails (64%), and slow movements (53%).
And while 98 percent of the study's participants reported seeking out ASMR as an opportunity for relaxation, 5 percent also reported using ASMR for sexual stimulation.

Thus, a new genre of erotica has emerged, known as ASMR or whisper porn.
As explained on Metro UK:
"Barrat and Davis also found that several ‘whisper porn’ lovers had synesthesia (the neurological phenomenon commonly associated with seeing numbers or words as colours), leading them to believe that rather than simply being relaxing, ‘ASMR seems to be a very multisensory experience’.
So people watching those YouTube videos aren’t just getting off to a pretty girl speaking softly (well, some might be), their brains are actually converting the sounds into a physical feeling."
But, lest you believe it's only men wanting to hear "a pretty girl speaking softly" turning to ASMR for sexual excitement, one of the most quickly growing categories within the genre is that of possessive, jealous and abusive boyfriend ASMR videos.
These boyfriend role play videos, which have been steadily gaining in popularity since 2017, are part of a larger category of ASMR videos known as "altruistic role-play care," featuring YouTubers — or as they prefer to be called, ASMRtists — "posing as doctors, hairdressers, masseuses and increasingly as boyfriends and girlfriends."
In these videos, the virtual boyfriend whose voice you hear calls the woman listening all sorts of degrading names, while sometimes telling her of his plans to kidnap her, while other times threatening to separate her from her family or to cause her physical harm.

Fascinatingly, the idea for these "psycho" boyfriend videos originated not with angry, misogynistic men, as one might understandably expect, but grew out of requests from female viewers.
ASMRtist CJ Lennox, host of YouTube channel CJ & Chill, told OZY he noticed a growing pattern of requests from women for more violent scenarios in the comments sections of his more typically sweet boyfriend role plays.
Explaining the inspiration behind his most popular video, titled "ASMR Jealous Boyfriend," CJ said, “Someone had commented [on one of my other videos] saying, ‘Snap my neck, hit me with your car, *** down my throat and hide my body,’ with a love heart face.”
To date, that video has been viewed more than 330,000 times, making it three times more popular than his second most viewed video, "ASMR Boyfriend Treats You To A Massage & A Surprise."
Rape and ravishment fantasies have long been one of the most popular sexual fantasy categories for women, and for those who find a narrative of dominance and submission incredibly exciting in their own imagination, as well as in books and movies, the multi-sensory experience of watching and listening to an ASMR video makes the arousal that fantasy elicits all the more intense.
It's important to recognize being sexually aroused by rape fantasies and thoughts of being abducted or dominated in some other way does NOT mean that you or any other person of any gender wants to experience actual rape or ravishment.
When you act out a rape fantasy with a partner you trust and know to have your best interests at heart, as well as with whom you've negotiated the parameters and boundaries ahead of time, you retain a meaningful level of control.
Women who watch violent or abusive boyfriend role play ASMR videos are simply experiencing a new medium through which they can safely indulge in exploring these fantasies.
Rape and ravishment fantasies have long been one of the most popular sexual fantasy categories for women, and for those who find a narrative of dominance and submission incredibly exciting in their own imagination, as well as in books and movies, the multi-sensory experience of watching and listening to an ASMR video makes the arousal that fantasy elicits all the more intense.
It's important to recognize being sexually aroused by rape fantasies and thoughts of being abducted or dominated in some other way does NOT mean that you or any other person of any gender wants to experience actual rape or ravishment.
When you act out a rape fantasy with a partner you trust and know to have your best interests at heart, as well as with whom you've negotiated the parameters and boundaries ahead of time, you retain a meaningful level of control.
Women who watch violent or abusive boyfriend role play ASMR videos are simply experiencing a new medium through which they can safely indulge in exploring these fantasies.
As troubling as this trend in YouTube videos may appear at first glance, possessive boyfriend role play in ASMR videos creates a safe space for women to enjoy their kinky BDSM fantasies about being overpowered while, ironically, remaining in complete control. Since the "bad boyfriend" in question is safely contained in the video, you can simply turn him off if things become too hairy.
Some women who are particularly susceptible to intense physiological responses to stimuli and triggers may experience a negative reaction as a result of watching these types of violent boyfriend ASMR videos, but they represent a small minority of potential viewers.
You're more likely to either find these videos sexually stimulating than you are to find them frightening or triggering, but truthfully, most people find them quite boring.
You'll never know how you feel about ASMR videos until you try one, of course, so if the idea appeals to you and you dare to give it a go, you just might find a new source of erotica to fuel your sexual fantasies.Dr. Lori Beth is a sex and intimacy coach, psychologist, public speaker and author who works with individuals, couples and polyamorous groups to help them create and sustain healthy exciting relationships. She hosts two podcasts, The A to Z of Sex and Sex Spoken Here, every week. Book a discovery session to see how she can help you.

These 5 Best ASMR Videos Will Help You Sleep And Give You Ear Orgasms

Ever had an eargasm? You're about to.
The other night I just couldn't fall asleep, no matter what I tried. I was feeling anxious, so I hopped onto YouTube to find videos on how to cure insomnia and how to deal with anxiety that would help me get to bed. That's when I stumbled across a video of a woman practicing the art of ASMR.
She whispered slowly while she finger tapped on the cover a book. Then, she shuffled papers. The next thing I knew, my mind was lured in. I felt tingly and my eyes grew heavy.
What is ASMR? A quick search for more ASMR videos led me to discover a whole new world of "eargasmic" resources, and an entire community of ASMR YouTube fans that teach them how to fall asleep fast!
I had never heard of ASMR before. A quick Google search revealed that ASMR is not a science, but an art form.
With ordinary sounds, ASMR artists whisper, tap, scratch, and shuffle various items and fabrics to create an autonomous sensory meridian response. The end result is a calming effect, and for some individuals, it rids them of insomnia. They can also be a natural treatment for stress and anxiety symptoms. 

At first glance, the technique appears to be sensual and even sexual in nature. But it's not about sex at all. If you've ever had someone whisper in your ear, and felt tingles shiver down your spine, you have had a little taste of the eargasmic effects of an ASMR experience.
Call it whisper porn, digital drugs, or a modern sleep aid — anyone who suffers from an insomnia disorder, anxiety, stress, or lives with a chronic insomniac will want to try ASMR.
It's important to note that not every person will respond to ASMR in the same way. While one person may find the sensations euphoric, another hearer might find it odd. But when you need help falling asleep, or managing your stress, it's worth a shot.
We've roundedup 5 of the best ASMR videos created for sleep, anxiety reduction, and destressing for you to check out.

1. ASMR YouTube Videos by YouTuber ASMRDarling will help you sleep —  fast.
"ASMR Darling" coined herself as an "internet brain masseuse." But to her fans, she's an ASMR sleep master.
Her videos combine sound sensations from clicking, tapping, whispering, scratching and skin touching. With over 61 million views and more than a half million subscribers, she made our list of ASMR YouTube video artists worth mentioning.
2. Try this ASMR video to help you relax, by YouTuber GentleWhisperingASMR
GentleWhispering's most popular ASMR YouTube video has over 6 million views. This one really helps to relax listeners who can't fall asleep.
In this ASMR video, she uses various items to create a sea of sensory sounds. From clicking, ruffling, snapping, sweeping, and shuffling as she describes what she's doing, you'll be off to dreamland in no time.

3. YouTube Videos by MassageASMR treat insomnia and stress with sound, but no talking.
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This video offers over 10 hours worth of trigger sounds, word-free. Dmitri first started doing ASMR as a compliment to his massage practice. He realized there was a need for more ASMR-centered videos, so he got to creating.
He combines scraping, shuffling, skin touching, tapping, whispering and other sensory sounds to create a sensational ASMR experience.
4. ASMR Videos by YouTuber TheUKASMR are sleep aids for when you can't sleep and need outside help.
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Using trigger sounds that create a variety of autonomous sensory meridian responses, TheUKASMR Sleep Clinic is one of many ASMR experiences she offers.
In this one, using roleplay, she invites her listeners to think through what's keeping them from falling asleep. She guides them through their anxiousness, then lulls them with sounds to relax. Each sound soothes anxiety and helps de-stress.
5. Isabel ImaginationASMR's YouTube videos are in a league of their own.
Not only is she a visual artist with her creative role play and imaginative storytelling, she is a true Jedi-sound master. Her intonation of words, while integrating whispers, and the mystical nature of dictation and voice, Isabel's ASMR Dream Catcher For Sleep Soft Spoken will relax your mind.
She shares a simple story about a birthday, and how that affected her own sleep and caused bad dreams. Connecting with true life situations that can create anxiety and tension, her video encompasses ear-to-ear, tapping bead sounds, and whispers to help hearers fall asleep fast.

5 Signs A Woman Has Climaxed

How to tell for sure.
If you've ever wondered if a woman has had an orgasm or is just plain-old faking it, this article is for you. The female orgasm is one of life's biggest sexual mysteries, and while many women know how to have an orgasm and bring themselves to climax, do men recognize those signs?
We questioned experts on what they considered to be true "signs" that a woman has had an orgasm, and we got quite a number of answers from experts who spoke bluntly, to ones who had more sophisticated answers.
Deep down, if you know a woman well, you'd feel comfortable enough to ask her if she really "finished," but even more so, you should be able to tell for yourself without question. Of course, sometimes a woman may fake it to please her partner with all good intentions, and others do so to "get it over with."

Hopefully, you're not on the other end of that latter circumstance. So, here's what the experts have to say about the female orgasm.
1. An orgasm is more than just a genital squeeze.
According to Kat Trimarco, a relationship and sex therapist, spiritual coach, and a certified Erotic Blueprint™ Coach, "We normally think of sex as penis in vagina intercourse, and orgasm as a 'genital sneeze.' Sex goes far beyond just intercourse and can encompass pleasure in multiple ways that doesn’t necessarily even directly involve the genitals. Orgasmic energy can be pulsating through a woman’s body without actually reaching a sort of climax."
Essentially, each of us has a very unique sexual wiring, and for many this wiring includes appealing and pleasing multiple senses and even psychological needs and desires. Here are just some of the types of orgasms women can have: clitoral, cervical, G-spot, full body, energetic, anal, nipple, mind, sensory, and heart.

2. Just ask her.
Kelly J. Connell M.S. Ed., C.A.S.H.E, a sexuality expert for MyFirstBlush.com advises:
"The only way to know is to ask her. You can look for all the physical signs of arousal as they go through the sexual response cycle, but everything else is pretty easy to fake. Not all women ejaculate, and if they do, it is sometimes only a few drops and their partner cannot see it.
Toes often curl at the moment of orgasm, but again, easy to fake. If you are comfortable enough to get naked with someone — put parts of your body against or into their body — you should be comfortable enough to talk to them about sex, pleasure, whether they had an orgasm, and what they need to have one."
Preach on! And yes, sometimes, it's easy to fake that orgasm or have ejaculation that's not "major."
3. Look for physical reactions.
Xanet Pailet, intimacy coach and author of Living an Orgasmic Life, gave us some physical factors we can watch for.

1. The orgasmic or sex flush
Sexual stimulation and arousal causes increased blood flow to all of the capillaries in the body, including those in the breasts and genital area. Many women experience a reddening of the skin on the face, belly, breasts and genitals during arousal.

While this sex flush can occur without orgasm, it often is very apparent after an orgasm. If you notice your partner’s skin getting flushed and feeling warmer, you can at least rest assured that she is very sexually aroused.
2. Body contractions and tremors
An orgasm is defined as a release of sexual energy that often results in a contraction and release of muscles in the pelvic bowl, including the vagina. If you are having sex with your partner or are using finger stimulation, you will actually feel the vagina contract and release during an orgasm. You might also feel the vagina open up even more during the orgasm, as the body relaxes and releases the pent up sexual energy.
Some women (and men) will also have tremors and contractions throughout their whole body when they have an orgasm. Although not impossible, these physical reactions are much harder to fake.

3. Breath
This usually changes during high arousal and orgasm. Women tend to breathe much more quickly and deeply as they get closer to orgasm, and often there is a deep guttural sound or scream that emerges. While this can certainly be faked, if it occurs with some of the other physical signs, you can be certain your partner had an orgasm.
4. Use science to your advantage.
Nicole Prause, Ph.D. of Liberos, shared some serious data about qualifying (and quantifying) orgasms.
She said, "For a physiologist, there is only one way to tell a woman has orgasmed, and the physiology looks the same as for men. An orgasm is 8-12 stereotyped contractions that occur in pelvic musculature starting .8 seconds apart and increases in latency (between each other) until their termination. These can be detected most easily in the vaginal opening or anus. In the lab, we measure from the anus so that we can directly compare men and women."
Wow. Please don't start counting her contractions in the bedroom if you ever want her to continue to have orgasms with you... unless you two really enjoy experimenting.
5. She tells you.
Dr. Shaun Wehle, of Shaun Wehle and Associates Psychological Services, swears by only one way: "When she says, 'I'm orgasming,' you have a pretty good idea that she has, in fact, climaxed." Enough said... hopefully.

The Dark Reality Of What Happens When Someone Is Sexually Repress

Not being able to express your sexuality can have dire consequences.
Sexual desire, as we all know, is a natural biological urge, which may or may not lead to masturbation or sexual intercourse, and this may or may not lead to orgasm. The orgasm reflex is an automatic aspect of the nervous system. It's pre-programmed into the human body to need orgasm on a regular basis, the frequency of which depends on the age and health of the person.
For most people, orgasm is extremely pleasurable. It floods the body with pleasure hormones, bringing a sense of euphoria and joy. For a moment, the mind stops, sense of time disappears and we're offered a glimpse of heaven. This state of pure joy is a door offered by nature, allowing us to experience life in wholeness and totality. Often, in these moments of ecstasy, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that life is simply love.
Some people speak of sexual transcendence as being desirable, when it's the biology that decides whether sexual impulses manifest or not. A mind conditioned by certain beliefs may be able to inhibit the sexual response, but cannot control the orgasm reflex.
Even if a person doesn't indulge in sex — either through masturbation or sexual union — they will still have dreams in which sexual fantasy will lead to orgasm. A more dangerous manifestation, which arises through sexual repression, is that of perversion.
A person becomes so tortured by incessant ungratified sexual urges that they become rapists or pedophiles.
And still another aspect of sexuality that's very prevalent in our cyber society, is mentally-driven. Such a person lacks sexual contact and may also lack nurturing human connection. He or she may lack human touch, and can only find a shadow fulfillment through imaginary touch with imagined people as seen on the computer screen.
There's another category of sexuality that's important to understand: emotionally-driven sexuality. This happens when a person has strongly repressed emotions, such as anger, fear or sadness. Emotions are like the weather, which is very changeable. And so it is with our emotions. If emotions are in stagnation, they will seek to be expressed vicariously through other means.

One of the very common ways people have found to release repressed emotions is through sexual activity and orgasm. When people do this, they often will not really enjoy the release. It's more about letting go of stress than a deep experience of ecstasy.
Because the person isn't really fulfilled and the emotional cycle never finds its true release through conscious expression, there's more and more desire for release, and the person goes on interpreting that urge as a need for sex.
This is the climate in which sex addiction is born. In a sense, it's similar to the addiction to junk food. A person goes on eating more and more junk food because such food appears to offer the nourishment needed by the body, but actually robs the body of needed nutrients. And because the person feels undernourished, they seek more and more of the junk food, hoping that by having more they will find the satisfaction they seek. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Now, there's a wonderful book written by a former sex and porn addict, called The Sex God: No Mud No Lotus by Ben Belenus. He finds his way into balanced sexuality through the practice of Tantra with his love partner. Tantra is indeed a masterful way to discover both sexual and spiritual fulfillment.
The door to fulfil;ment is found when we return to our original, spontaneous nature. This can be achieved by unwinding our stresses and emotional repressions back to their origin, which may be painful childhood memories or rigid belief systems. We can then learn to release emotions directly, through a deep, primal scream or pillow beating, or other forms of guided emotional let go.
When we learn emotional fluidity, our sexuality no longer has to function as a conduit for our neurosis. We can then begin to enjoy natural and free flowing sexual pleasure. The body has its own wisdom for sexual expression, and in a balanced person this is connected to love and spirit.
We have only one energy, and this one essence flows through all that we are, body, heart, mind and soul. Sex is a joyous celebration of being alive, in deep communion with another human being and with the whole of creation. Allowing the river of life force energy to flow through us in a multidimensional way brings pleasure, gratitude and bliss to our lives.

I Got Addicted To My Vibrator (And How I Finally Quit)

A woman and her vibrator: a love story?
It wasn't meant to go this way. It was meant as a fun assignment. A lot of women would dream of being asked to test drive every vibrator on the market and write about their experience for Playboy. And while it wasn't something my parents would brag about — or even admitting knowledge of — anytime soon, I loved the idea of covering the sex business from a first-person perspective without having to sell myself or make porn.
Almost as an afterthought, it occurred to me that the research might also be informative.
At first, unwrapping packages of vibrators in every shape and size was exciting — unwrapping packages of anything is exciting! — and the fact that these anythings were also going to be getting me off only added to the thrill.
Rabbits of every color imaginable, USB-powered bullets, G-spot stimulators, dildos complete with real hair, eggs with microscope attachments that allowed you to look inside as you orgasmed (surely appealing only to future gynecologists) and many others began piling up.
And like any good researcher, I gave each of these sex toys a go, not ever thinking about developing a masturbation addiction. Some left me cold (especially the many dolphin-shaped ones, apparently considered an erotic animal), some caused awkward moments (take my advice: don't ever try to carry on phone conversations about work while wearing a pair of vibrating panties), but none brought me as much pleasure as The Wand.
You know about the Hitachi Magic Wand, right? It's the one orgasm-expert Betty Dodson swears by, the medical-looking one that you might spy near someone's bed and hear them say it's only for those terrible kinks they get in their shoulder.

Vibrator aficionados know better; they also recommend that you put a towel between it and you so that, I assume, you don't burn your clitoris off — it's that powerful. If the wand can't make you orgasm, nothing can.
My relationship with my wand got off to a relatively slow start. It initially terrified me, as anything that's meant for sexual pleasure, plugs into the wall and is roughly the size of your arm should. The first time I masturbated with it, I kept the towel between us. But it gave me what I can say without hyperbole was the best orgasm of my life.
Orgasming had become increasingly difficult over the years — antidepressants and age had conspired to make climaxing more something I sought out and got near rather than something I actually experienced. But the wand rubbed that elusiveness away. Suddenly I was orgasming — sometimes two and three times in a row — without even having to cook up any fantasies.
By the time I'd finished the assignment, I'd thrown all the other vibrators out so that I could focus solely on my relationship with the wand. I'd also long since abandoned the towel.

I don't believe it's a coincidence that my love affair with the wand coincided directly with a dark period in my love life. And I don't mean dark period in the sense that it was negative; I mean in the sense that it was essentially non-existent. Men, who came with baggage and occasional bad moods and far less of a guarantee of sexual pleasure than my plug-in, began to seem not terribly necessary.
I was a little afraid I might never be able to get back to men, but according to Jamye Waxman, sex educator and the author of Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, "If you use a vibrator it might be more difficult, or take longer, to orgasm from other forms of stimulation like a hand or tongue, but if you stop using the vibrator then after a week or two all systems should be go. Also, you can downgrade the power of your vibe, so say you're using a Hitachi Magic Wand, switch to a pocket rocket to help regain some sensitivity."
Well, I neither wanted to downgrade nor go cold turkey, so instead, I just tried to introduce the guys I was dating to the wand.
Their reactions varied from what appeared as feigned enthusiasm to outright disdain. The men who claimed they wanted to watch me use it seemed to go limp when they heard its lawnmower-like noise. And with an audience, the wand and I couldn't seem to get into our groove, anyway. During these threesomes, my orgasms, when they happened, were wholly unsatisfying.
Then I entered a period where using the wand began to make me feel incredibly guilty and like I was developing a masturbation addiction.
I'd orgasm, and find myself overwhelmed with the type of shame I would imagine a Catholic priest might have. I'd tell myself I had to quit or find another vibrator or get into a relationship that left me sexually satisfied but, instead, when the urge hit, I'd give the golden wand another ride and go through the same shame spiral again.
We tell ourselves all sorts of things when we become dependent on something. Like that we're not dependent, that we can stop at any time but we just don't want to. Or that we are but there's no harm in it. You're going to tell me that coming is bad?
I was as devoted to my wand as other women are to abusive lovers, and even when I started getting lacerations near my clitoris (those towel recommenders, it turned out, had a point), I covered for my beloved, going so far as to ask my gynecologist if perhaps the little cuts were evidence of a disease.
If you'd rather believe that you have an STD than cut down on using your vibrator, I think it's safe to say you're addicted to your vibrator; your relationship with that vibrator probably isn't healthy.
As an alcoholic in recovery for over nine years, I know that an addiction isn't determined by how much you do something but by how unmanageable it makes your life.
And while the wand wasn't interfering with my career and I wasn't obsessing over it the way I used to obsess over cocaine, it caused me to continue doing something that ended up making me feel bad.
Plus, as relationship expert Dr. Gilda Carle points out, I wasn't really getting everything I need. As she says, "Use of a vibrator is momentarily satisfying. But it doesn't answer the need for a partner to hold you, converse with you, commiserate with you, and love you. Psychologically, a woman may believe she's being satisfied, but she's losing out on the essence of true interchange. Vibrators are great fun for the short term when a woman is between loves. But she should never be fooled into believing that her vibrator IS her love!"

Well, whether or not I thought of it as my love is debatable; all I know is that after a few years with the wand, it was time to say goodbye. So I decided to throw it out — not just in my kitchen garbage but down the chute (I learned through my relationship with cocaine that I haven't actually gotten rid of something if I can still retrieve it).
And my journey back to the world of people-generated orgasms has been shockingly easy. It's re-introduced me to the pleasures of erotica, a lover's tongue, and my own right hand.
It's taught me that getting off isn't only about the orgasm but about what I'm thinking and feeling, climactic or not, before, during and after I come. It's about connecting throughout my entire body and not just my clitoris, about one time being plenty and another person a treat rather than an inconvenience.
Still, I do sort of miss my friend from Japan.

Why Orgasm Denial And Chastity Play Make For The Most POWERFUL Orgasms

Denial can be sexier than you ever knew...
By engaging in chastity play, you can learn the pleasuring, teasing, and yes, sometimes torment of orgasm denial. Chastity play allows you to discover that sexual fulfillment isn't always about instant gratification (which is often a shock to first timers).
If you're ready to enrich your and your partner's sexual appetites, orgasm denial and chastity play may be just what you need.
Chastity play
 isn't something new. It has actually been around for centuries.
The kinky practice of BDSM chastity play involves denying yourself sexual stimulation and giving control of your sexual needs to someone else. This someone else is also known as the key holder.
Chastity play can have different meanings for each person who participates and those meanings can be very personal. Whether it's the relationship between submissives to their key holders, willingness and desire of both to please each other or to give or receive more meaningful orgasms, each person can have a unique experience during chastity play.
Chastity play is not about total abstinence as many might think. It's about prolonged orgasms and giving up sexual control so you don't know when or if your key holder will allow you an orgasmic release.People who engage in chastity play don't always have sex once released from their chastity device
.
There are other ways to reach sexual satisfaction. It can be about pleasuring yourself while your key holder watches then locks you back up in your chastity device afterward. The possibilities are endless!
Differing from other fetishes, chastity play prolongs your orgasms in order to achieve greater sexual satisfaction. You're giving over control to someone else, the key holder, who determines when you may receive sexual pleasure. All this can be a very erotic experience.How to find a playmate if you're single.
Chastity play works best if you're currently in a relationship where you can be open with your partner to discuss your sexual fantasies. However, if you're single there are options available to allow you to practice chastity play.
One option is to hire a mistress who specializes in male chastity play. This ensures your first experience will be with a professional with experience in chastity play. This is a great option for a first timer who needs someone to help introduce you to the ins and outs of chastity play.
After you've found your match, the next step is to schedule an appointment or date. You should draw up a contract with the key holder that outlines what you have agreed on, what is expected of both parties and states a release date of your chastity device.
The key holder will obviously be the person who holds the key to the chastity device so you don't cheat.
However, it's always a good idea to have a spare key in case of emergency. This is one area where trust and honesty come into play.
Always start off slowly at first with chastity play.
It's a new experience and I recommend only one or two days of being locked in your chastity device to begin with. This allows your private areas to adjust to the chastity device, as it can be very irritating at first for some.
Plan a date to meet at a hotel with your key holder so they can release you from your chastity device, or have your key holder surprise you for some extra excitement. Remember that it's not always about having sex with your key holder, especially if the two of you agreed not to have sex but did agree you can masturbate once released from the device.
Once your key holder releases you and allows you pleasure, he or she should lock you back into your chastity device and leave. Just make sure that you clean yourself along with your chastity device before putting it back on.
This is the time for you to evaluate your experience and decide of you want to continue with chastity play. If you both decide to continue, make another date but make sure this time you schedule a longer period of time.
You can even try chastity play completely solo!
Finally, you can always play chastity play alone, especially if you're unsure if you will enjoy it and want to try it out solo before getting someone else involved. You just need to be honest with yourself when flying solo.
Start by signing a contract with yourself along with a release date.Put the key somewhere safe as mentioned above. An alternative is to mail the key to yourself so that it gets to you in a few days and you have time to experiment with chastity play. Just remember to always have a spare key in case of emergencies to avoid an awkward locksmith call.
Try it out for a few days at first to see how you like it then unlock your chastity device and pleasure yourself. You can tease yourself first before unlocking your chastity device by looking at pornographic magazines, watching porn or going to a strip club.
If you want to try chastity play again, do it for a longer period of time. When you feel ready you can see about finding someone to play with you as mentioned above.
If you're already in a relationship, how do you bring up the idea of chastity play?
For those of you in a relationship, you now have to think of someone else's needs besides your own. Bringing up any fetish to your partner can be hard especially if you have known them for a long time and have never brought the topic up before.
They may think that they're not satisfying you sexually, you're not happy in the relationship, or may think your fetish perverse. It might be hard for them to tell if you've just recently wanted to try chastity play, or if you'd had this desire for awhile.
All partners like to think they're approachable when it comes to talking about sex. They may be, but it can be difficult to talk about your sexual fantasies. My best advice is to be open and honest with your partner and to encourage communication, but that is easier said than done.
In order to approach your partner, you need to know what it is about the fetish that you like and what you want to get out of it for the both of you, not just you. You have to know your desires well enough to communicate them to your partner so they can better understand how it can bring pleasure to you both.

Start by sharing each other's sexual fantasies.Ask your partner what one of their fetishes or fantasies are and promise to try it. When it is your turn to share, mention chastity play.
If this happens, remove the chastity device until the area has healed. Be sure to keep a close eye on the area and look for signs of infection.
Remember hygiene is very important. More irritation and infection can occur if you don't wash your genital area. Be sure to clean your device daily as bacteria can build up on the device and provide a further threat to infection.
Cleaning can be done with the device on and most key holders and submissives prefer the device is worn all the time. Most devices today are made to allow the person wearing them to use the bathroom and clean themselves.
Is chastity play for you?
For those who are new to chastity play and want to learn more about adding it into your sex lives may wonder how you begin. First, you need to decide if this is something you would really like to try

3 Ways To Deal When You Get Ghosted — By Your Own Orgasm

The ULTIMATE betrayal.
By Esther Crane
It can happen even in the steamiest moment—you’re on the brink of an awesome orgasm … and then nada.
Maybe you got distracted by a nagging thought, like stressing out over unanswered work emails, or you were thrown off when your guy suddenly changed positions. Or maybe your climax just kind of petered out, and you’re not completely sure why.
Whatever’s going on, there are techniques you can use to get back in the zone. Allow us to talk you through.
1. Think of Channing Tatum.
Letting your mind go to your sexy place, wherever it is (that time you and your guy hooked up on the kitchen table, the hottie with the ridic biceps at the gym who always says hi), will get you on track for a satisfying finish.
“When you fantasize, your brain sends arousal signals throughout your body, and extra blood is directed to your genitals,” says Gail Saltz, M.D., author of The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead to a Better Life.
The less constrained your fantasy, the better: Women who allowed their minds to wander to their own scenario (as opposed to something scripted, like a scene from an X-rated novel) were more likely to show signs of being turned on, such as increased wetness, according to a recent study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.
And, of course, more arousal usually means that the way your guy is touching/licking/whatever you is going to feel that much better.
2. Don’t spectate.

Now, notice your self-observational thoughts. (“Am I taking too long?” “Do my boobs
 look weird at this angle?”) Well, the intruding thoughts drown out the oh-yeah! ones, and that can make even the closest orgasm slink away.
“Suddenly you’re self-conscious of what’s going on instead of actually experiencing it,” Dr. Saltz says. To help you stay in the moment, engage your senses, especially your most dominant one.
So, for example, if you’re the tactile type, zero in on how his back muscles feel under your fingers. More visual? Get lost in how sexy his pecs look when you’re on top. If words and sounds really get to you, let out a string of yeses or mmms (odds are he’ll follow suit—even hotter).
Oh, and that thinking about Channing Tatum thing? Yeah, that helps shut up your mental peanut gallery, too.
3. Use the winning move.
Cool fact: Orgasms are a series of involuntary genital-area contractions—and you can help bring them on by tensing those muscles when your finish is close. As you feel yourself getting there, try to squeeze and release quickly a few times, so it feels kind of like rapid pulsing.
“Tensing your pelvic muscles stimulates the genitals, which will boost your excitement level so that you’re even more likely to climax,” says Rachael Ross, M.D., a clinical sexologist in Gary, Indiana.
Another benefit: The contractions clue your guy into the fact that you’re almost there (he can feel those telltale spasms), so he’ll be less likely to switch things up last-minute and you can finally, totally let gooo.