Why women - and men - fake orgasms

In The Five-Year Engagement Jason Segel fakes an orgasm with his fiancee (played by Emily Blunt).

London - At least seven out of 10 women and nearly a third of men have faked an orgasm, according to new research.

The study, carried out by the University of Kansas, found that 68 percent of women and 28 percent of men have pretended to climax with a partner.

Both sexes gave the same reasons for faking it – a partner’s orgasm was imminent so they felt under pressure to climax.

Other commonly cited reasons were that they wanted to end – without hurting a partner’s feelings – or they were bored after an orgasm seemed unlikely.

The study, published in the Journal of Sex Research, questioned 281 male and female students about their sexual habits and found that in many cases, both men and women simulated orgasms because they felt under pressure to enjoy real sex.

This was a particular problem for men. The report said: “The emphasis on men’s ability to give their partners ‘earth-shaking orgasms’ sometimes leads both women and men to pretend orgasm to meet these expectations.”

Sex expert Tracey Cox of online erotic retailer Lovehoney said: “Some women may feel they need to provide evidence that they’re enjoying themselves.

“Women may bluff because they find it difficult to orgasm from penetrative sex alone

.”

A study carried out by Columbia University in New York claimed that women faked orgasms as a form of “mate-guarding” behaviour which prevents their partners from straying.

Another 2011 study from Temple University in Pennsylvania suggested that women faked orgasm because of insecurities and a fear of intimacy.

But if faking an orgasm means being noisy then it could be doing wonders for your love life.

A study by Leeds University found that those who were loud in the bedroom reported a better sex life.

Women particularly responded to their partner expressing pleasure audibly because, say experts, it it reassures women about the quality of their performance. - Daily Mail

6 reasons why your orgasm can get blocked

Lots of women have never had an orgasm before, and sometimes there’s a fear of the unknown that can come up. Picture: Max Pixel

** This blog was written by guest author Melissa Luies**

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But not being able to orgasm? 

That's one we don't hear about often. Imagine, as you reach the build-up to the climax and just as your toes reach over the edge - it all disappears. Like unwilling edging. Now, onto today’s topic: how to get past those frustrating orgasmic blocks.

Possibility #1: You Don’t Know What An Orgasm Feels Like

Lots of women have never had an orgasm before, and sometimes there’s a fear of the unknown that can come up. You might find yourself worrying about what having an orgasm will really be like, and that fear may end up preventing you from having one.

Possibility #2: You’re Afraid Of Losing Control

Our society is control-obsessed. We want to be in charge of every minute detail our lives, and we can feel incredibly anxious when we’re not in the driver’s seat. Unfortunately, control is often a myth. There are so many aspects of our lives that we have absolutely no control over, and orgasm is one of those.

Possibility #3: You Don’t Feel Comfortable With Your Partner

Having an orgasm is a vulnerable experience. Sometimes our bodies can feel blocked because we don’t fully trust the people that we’re sleeping with. Even if you think you’re comfortable with that person, your body may still be picking up on some sort of energy that it doesn’t like.

Possibility #4: You’ve Had Bad Sexual Experiences

It kills me every time I have to type this, but over one in four women has experienced some sort of sexual abuse in her life. Countless more have had sexual experiences that felt difficult or uncomfortable. Our bodies hold onto that trauma, even if our minds think that we’re “over it”.

If you've experienced any sort of trauma, I highly recommend considering booking a consultation with a psychotherapist.

Possibility #5: You’re Distracted

One great strategy you can use during sex is to come up with a mantra to help bring yourself back into the moment. When you start getting wrapped up in thoughts about your blockage, say to yourself, “OK, I’m getting distracted again, but I want to try to focus on the pleasure instead.” 

Possibility #6: You’re Just Not Sure What The Block's About

Sometimes it can feel really hard to know what that damn blockage is all about. If none of the above possibilities is resonating for you, try asking yourself, “what am I afraid of?” or “what’s the worst that could happen?” Your adult brain is going to kick in immediately and say, “this is so silly! There’s nothing to be afraid of!” 

Try to gently put those thoughts aside and keep asking yourself with curiosity and openness. Or try a different tactic by visualizing yourself having an orgasm and see what comes up for you. 

One-night stands aren’t worth it for women

You thought you were supposed to be having the time of your life, going out to fancy places now that you have a little money and limited responsibility.

London - One-night stands are known for causing regret and heartache – and new research has raised the question of whether women should bother with them at all.

A study has found that casual sex is more satisfying for men than women – and that women are twice as likely to orgasm when having sex as part of a committed relationship.

Dr Kim Wallen, an expert in female desire at Emory University, said: “The notion of sexual liberation, where men and women both had equal access to casual sex, assumed a comparable likelihood of that sex being pleasurable. But that part of the playing field isn’t level.”

Researchers at Indiana University and Binghamton University interviewed 600 college students about their sex lives.

The team, led by Dr Justin Garcia, found that the female students were more likely to orgasm when in a serious relationship than when having causal sex.

Garcia said: “We’ve been sold this bill of goods that we’re in an era where people can be sexually free and participate equally in the hook-up culture. The fact is that not everyone’s having a good time.”

Previous research by New York University revealed only 40 percent of women orgasm during causal sex, compared to 80 percent of men.

The researchers studied 24 000 students at 21 universities over a five-year period and also discovered about 75 percent of women orgasm during sex in a committed relationship.

Dr Paula England, from New York University, said: “We attribute that to practice with a partner, which yields better success at orgasm, and we also think the guys care more in a relationship.”

England found many men admit to being less interested in satisfying women they are having casual sex with. She believes women are less likely to orgasm during casual sex as they feel unable to express what they want.

Debra Herbenick, a scientist at Indiana University, explained that for a woman casual sex can be similar to having dinner at a friend’s house.

She saidin that situation a woman would not state what she wants to eat and how it should be cooked, and that their sentiments are similar during casual sex. – Daily Mail

5 things you didn't know about the female orgasm

Second, only to regular exercise, orgasms make people appear younger. Picture: Supplied

** This blog was written by guest author Melissa Luies**

Orgasm is not just about pleasure. It is also an important aspect of women’s health as it triggers the release of the hormones, which help the body relax, reduce stress, help fight depression, and offer opportunities for full physical and mental development. Here are five things you never knew about orgasms.

10 to 15% of all women can't orgasm... at all

We'll just get the bad news out of the way. Anorgasmia is the inability to get off. It can be global, meaning there is no means by which she's going to orgasm, or situational -- wherein she can only peak under certain circumstances. But no matter what it is, it just sucks. Completely.

Getting women off took precedent over their housekeeping duties

The first electric vibrators hit the market in the early 1900s. Um, that's a decade before vacuum cleaners and electric clothes irons.

The sensation of orgasm is basically the same for men and women

The penis and clitoris are homologous organs developing from the same tissue in an embryo. Whichever you have, it's connected to the spinal cord (and brain, by extension) via a pair of pudendal nerves. Same nerves, same sensations.

And the best position to induce a female orgasm is...

Doggie style! Pat yourselves on the back, guys, science are on your side! This position stimulates the clitoris and the vagina, which in layman's terms, is a sexual win-win.

Orgasms are the mystical fountain of youth

Second, only to regular exercise, orgasms make people appear younger. British head-shrinker Dr David Weeks surveyed 3 500 people to come up with his results.

Mind the orgasm gap

In a survey 85 percent of men said the last person they slept with reached climax - but only 64 percent of women agreed.

It will come as no surprise to most women, but men think they perform better than they really do in the bedroom, says Mail Online.

According to the findings of a US survey, about 85 percent of men said the last person they slept with had an orgasm. Yet when the researchers asked women the same question, just 64 percent agreed.

The “orgasm” gap is being blamed by experts on men being happy to please themselves without ensuring their partner is satisfied, a Mail Online report on the US survey said.

To illustrate the point, the study found that men are more likely to orgasm when sex includes vaginal intercourse, whilst women are more likely to orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts.

The findings were from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behaviour, one of the most comprehensive studies in two decades into the sex lives of Americans.

The research team from the University of Indiana documented the sexual experiences and condom use of 5 865 adolescents and adults ages 14 to 94.

The findings suggest that while a lot of men do stick to a routine, there are also plenty of people “experiment” when it comes to sex.

Around 7percent of women and 8 percent of men said they are gay, lesbian or bisexual and some 41 different “combinations of sexual acts” were identified.

This surprised the Indiana team who said they were taken aback by the “enormous diversity” that in the bedroom when the lights went off.

“Our main point is that sex is more than just vaginal intercourse,” said study author Michael Reece, director of Indiana University’s Centre for Sexual Health Promotion.

“While it does appear to be the most common behaviour ... many people are being diverse in their sexual lives.” - IOL

Introducing the orgasm diet

When couples have sex in a Hollywood movie, it usually goes a little something like this: two perfectly toned people fall into each other's arms and into a neatly made-up bed. The pair then indulge in a few glorious minutes of sweat-free lovemaking and climax in perfect unison.

If only it were that easy for us in real life! In fact, research suggests that 75 percent of women don't orgasm through intercourse, and 12 percent don't climax at all.

How would you feel if we told you that you could train your body to orgasm more easily just by changing your diet? That's what The Orgasmic Diet (Judy Piatkus Publishers, R133), a new book by Marrena Lindberg, is claiming. It's the first ever scientifically-supported nutritional and exercise method to increase women's libido.

"If you've never had a vaginal orgasm, this diet will definitely change that," says Marrena. "If you're already having them, you'll have them much faster and stronger. You can also increase the ease and intensity of your clitoral orgasm."

So what's this magical orgasm diet about and where do we sign up? Marrena says that her easy approach involves just four main components:

A diet low in carbs that's free from 'orgasm killers' like refined sugar and caffeine.

High doses of fish oil capsules, found in your local supermarket.

Regular Kegel exercises.

Maintenance of the levels of serotonin and dopamine, the chemicals in your brain that make you feel happier, and which regulate your libido and improve blood flow to your genitals.

A typical week on the diet?

DAILY

25 Kegel exercises - you'll find these muscles by stopping urine flow mid-stream. Tighten and relax them 25 times.

14g dark chocolate

1 multivitamin

1 vitamin C (a small glass of orange juice) Morning fish oil pills (1 400-1 700mg depending on your weight)

777mg calcium

270mg magnesium

4-7mg zinc

Your orgasmic 5-day menu

Aim for 30 percent protein (meat, dairy, vegetables, fish), 30 percent fats (monounsaturated fats like olive oil and saturated fats like dairy, meat and poultry), 40 percent or fewer carbs, avoiding starchy ones (white bread, potatoes). Every few days, you'll need to take 27mg of iron.

Monday

Breakfast: Yoghurt or cottage cheese, blueberries, strawberries and muesli

Lunch: Chicken Caesar salad - grilled shredded chicken, romaine lettuce, grated Parmesan cheese and Caesar dressing

Dinner: Steak fajitas with peppers and avocado

Tuesday

Breakfast: Omelette with tomatoes, onions and peppers

Lunch: Vegetable quiche and fresh fruit

Dinner: Chinese stir-fry in peanut oil with lean beef strips, broccoli, onions, mushrooms and bamboo shoots (you can cheat and use Chinese stir-fry vegetable mix); small portion of white rice

Wednesday

Breakfast: Two slices of bacon, one or two eggs and toast

Lunch: Cheeseburger (no bun) and a big salad but no dressing

Dinner: Greek chicken pitas with Greek yoghurt sauce made with cucumber, onion and garlic and a salad of tomato, peppers, cucumber, olives, feta cheese and olive oil

Thursday

Breakfast: Yoghurt topped with muesli and fruit of your choice

Lunch: Ham and Swiss cheese on grainy bread with mayonnaise or mustard, pepper strips and carrot sticks

Dinner: Roast chicken with broccoli and a mixed salad with olive oil dressing

Friday

Breakfast: Omelette with onions, peppers and cheese

Lunch: Tuna nicoise salad - pan-seared tuna over greens, black olives, capers, hard-boiled egg and crumbled blue cheese

Dinner: Baked aubergine with melted cheese and bean salad

Rebel Girl: Tanja Orion

Tanja Orion is an alternative model from Croatia. While Tanja loves many of the genres alternative modelling is made up of, to each she brings her own gentle darkness and romance. She is a die-hard lover of the beauty in life’s darkness after all! To find out all about Tanja Orion keep on reading!

Photography by Friki Photography[/caption]Tell us about your career as model. How did you get started?I always joke about how my modeling career started by accident haha.My friend was studying to become a professional MUA and she needed someone to help her to make some photos for her portfolio. And who to ask but your best friend who loves to be photographed. And so we did it. It went pretty good and some other photographers saw me on those photos and wanted to work with me. I actually got really nervous about all that because I never had an aspiration to become model or anything like that. I've never even met a professional photographer before that and I had no idea how a real, serious photo session looks. But I decided to give it a shot and here I am... Session by session I realized how much I enjoy modeling. I can't even imagine my life without it anymore.Do you love any one genre of modelling more than another?I can't really choose one genre which I love more than any other. I am an alternative model. "Alternative" is actually more of a lifestyle. So, I love almost everything that could fit in that category. I would not like to limit myself to only one genre because I want to do so many things. I want to realise so many ideas that are still only on my mind, and some ideas photographers I work with have on their minds.You have said before that you’re “attracted to the bizarre and to the "dark side"”. What are some of your favourite passions from the dark side?Oh, I love the dark side! I find something very magic in things we always try to keep unseen, untold and we don't talk about them. Those emotions which remain hidden from everyone and even from ourselves. I love to try to express them on photos. And I love it even more when I succeed.  I'm not dark, sad person. Not even close. But I just find it interesting.Is there any style or type of modelling that you wouldn’t do?I cannot say that there are some types or styles of modeling I WOULD NEVER DO. I can only say what I don't want to do now. For example, at this moment, I don't shoot nudes but maybe I'll want to do it one day and if that day comes I will definitely do it.Let’s talk tattoos! How many tattoos do you have? Which was your first? Are you planning any new ink for the future?I have four tattoos and yes, I am planning to have many more. I have so many ideas for my tattoos that honestly I have no idea where to start.My first tattoo was the one on my right thigh. It's a lyric from a song by my favorite band Gojira. It has a story behind it, of course. It's not just that it sounded good. All my tattoos have stories. They are really personal and each is actually a symbol of me, of some part of my life, of something I've been through, how I want to be in the future and in the end how I see myself and the world around me. So, can you only imagine how much more ink I have to get??I'm not one of those people who pick tattoos from catalogs because they look cool. For me, it has to be something big and important.

Photography by Grimart Photography, Hair by Silvana Zdelar, MUA by Marija Vrdoljak[/caption]What do you do when you aren’t modelling?I'm a pole dancer. Pole is another of my two greatest passions along with modeling. I am tutoring Italian, which I also really enjoy because I'm a freak for foreign languages and it makes me happy when I have a chance to share my knowledge with somebody else. My job includes communicating in a lot of languages. That's the part I love about it. Sometimes I have to use some languages I don't even speak officially :)When I get some free time I love to read, or listen to some good music, watch some  TV series and movies kids today call "nerdy" (I'm a big big Whovian btw.), or just catch up with my friends and family.Are there any concepts or styles of shoot you’re dying to try out in the future?Actually, I think it would be very interesting to do a session that includes my pole. It could be sexy, but at the same time it would show the strength of a woman and how amazing and beautiful female body really is.What do you consider your biggest career highlights so far?I've been asked this a lot lately but I find it hard to pick only one specific thing or moment that would be bigger than any other. One very special moment was when I got featured in an international magazine for the first time. I was very happy, and proud and it felt really good but over all... I always say that my fans are the highlight of everything. And they really are. The best fans one can have!How much have you changed since you first started modelling?In personal life, not much. I am still  exactly the same. I have the same people in my life, same old friends... But when it comes to professional Tanja Orion, yes, I have changed. A lot. I am much more self-confident when I look at the camera now than I was when I was only beginning, which is normal. I know what I want to do and how far I want to go with my modeling.You also get to feel a lot of envy when you do something like this and a lot of viciousness. And believe me, not only from other girls. You learn a lot about people. A lot of people try to sabotage you before you've even started. I had moments when it would really bring me down. But not anymore. Years have passed, and I learned to love those people because they make me work even harder. Good to have them!Do you have any tips for new models that find you inspiring?I know everybody always says this, but the most important thing is to be yourself. Because you can only feel good and natural while being yourself and if you are trying to be somebody else it shows and it can't look good.Second of all is - Never give up! No matter how hard it gets and no matter how pointless it seems at some moments. Work hard, do your best and good results will find their way towards you.Never leave the set knowing that you didn't do your best in front of the camera.To find more Tanja Orion be sure to like her on Facebook to stay up todate, contact her on Model Mayhem or check out her life behind the scenes on Instagram (@tanjaorion). Before you go check out the gallery of handpicked photos by Tanja herself below! Which is your favourite?

Photography by Friki Photography

Photography by Friki Photography

Photography by Friki Photography

Buy at Rebelcircus.com!

Photography by Friki Photography. Model and MUA Tanja-Orion

Photography by Friki Photography

Photography by Grimart Photography. Hair by Silvana Zdelar, MUA by Marija Vrdoljak

Buy at Rebelcircus.com!