How The Pressure To Climax Robs You Of True Intimacy And Pleasure

Did you finish yet? How 'bout now? OK, how 'bout now?
As a young boy, discovering the world of sexuality consisted of sneaking off to watch porn and getting misinformation about sex from older kids.
Pornography taught me that sexual experiences were self-indulgent and emotionally detached. My friends taught me that it's all about making the girls scream my name.
Sex was all about the euphoric end game, and both participants felt the pressure to get there.
Before I even had a chance to lose my virginity, I felt the uneasy pressure of being a "top performer" for my future sexual partners. The goal of bringing a female to a climax had power over my ego before I even fully understood what an orgasm really was.

Fast forward to my sex life as an adult, I was past the initial pressure of bringing my partners to an orgasm. I was very confident in pleasing women and enjoyed doing so. I would always ask my partners "Did you cum?"
One day a former lover of mine explained to me how asking if she came made her feel "pressured" to cum. I finally realized I was inviting the orgasm to sweep in and take power away from her ego as well, by making her think if she didn't cum, then something was wrong with her.
Your Intimacy together shouldn't revolve around orgasms and orgasms alone.

It's time for us to realize that intimacy itself shouldn't be based around having an orgasm. When we focus solely on the orgasm itself, we create an "orgasmic entity" that we have to feed by bringing it to life.

When we enter a sacred space of intimacy and give unconditionally without any expectations, we learn to simply enjoy sharing our essence within that moment. This is how you experience deeper orgasms, naturally.
How tantra opened my mind and body to new euphoric experiences.
Attending my first tantra workshop with Kenya and Carl Stevens introduced me to an even deeper understanding of the orgasm. I learned how we are energy beings and the we can consciously connect beyond the flesh.
When I started to incorporate energy work into my sex life, I reached a point where I started experiencing "energetic orgasms" without ejaculating. For most of my life, I believed my sexual experience should end with a physical disperse. I learned that an "orgasm" and "ejaculation" aren't always one in the same. 

By switching my perspective of sex to being beyond the physical aspect, I was introduced to a new world where I could have multiple orgasms without spilling my seed of life, unless I consciously choose to do so.
When we take back power from the orgasm, we empower ourselves to connect deeper with the essence of who we really are. Within this sacred space the orgasm naturally becomes a part of the experience.
You can find out more about Jason Hairston on his website.

This article was originally published at Fearless Press. Reprinted with permission from the author.

6 Hot-As-Hell Reasons Older Guys Are Waaayyy Better In Bed

Practice makes perfect.
By Michaela Mitchell
I make no secret that I prefer older men. And yes, the way they handle themselves in a relationship is important, but let's be real for a moment...if the sex was bad, I wouldn't stick around.
If the image you have of an older man in bed is influenced by a Viagra commercial, then listen up. There's so much more to sex with an older man than a little blue pill. After enough years of practice, they've got some skills that many of their younger counterparts don't have yet.
Sure, some men have natural ability and unlimited patience, but for others, they get better over time.
1. Older men take their time.
Older men have patience, and that means in the bedroom, too.
Foreplay doesn't start five minutes after you get naked. Hell, sometimes it starts hours in advance – or never really stops. But once you're in bed and ready to go, there's no wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am.

Sure, quickies are fun, but older men are willing to draw out your pleasure. Not just so you have a bigger, better orgasms, but because they enjoy watching what they do to you.

2. Older men focus on foreplay.
Like I said, foreplay may start hours before you have sex. In some cases, it never really stops.
Older men understand that foreplay is about seduction and can take many forms. Once they get you naked in their arms, though, that kind of foreplay gets all their attention. What makes you moan and grind against them? What makes you scream? Yeah, they're going to do that all night.
Only when they know you've been driven wild will they be ready for sex.
3. Older men believe in ladies first – and often.
The goal isn't to get one orgasm out of you and then have sex. Oh no. While they're getting you hot and bothered during foreplay, they're working hard for your orgasms — plural. They see it as a source of pride when they can cause big, badass orgasms that leave you shaking and weak.

If you're a multi-orgasmic kind of girl like me, they want to make us lose count. It's always a good night when you lose count of your orgasms. Just sayin'.

4. Older men take longer to finish.
Some people might see this as a downside, but not me. I've had the minutemen before, and it wasn't even enough to get my motor running.
If the sex isn't any good, of course you want it to be over sooner rather than later. But when you've had great foreplay and multiple orgasms, it's not something you want over and done with in a flash.
Let them take their time. It's worth it, I promise.
5. Older men can go multiple times in one night.

Contrary to popular belief, some older men can have multiple orgasms in one night. With my man, it's not often, and hell, by the time we're usually done with the first, I need a nap anyway. But on those rare occasions when we've got nothing but time and a vivid imagination, it's nice to know that we can each experience multiple orgasms.
6. Their own orgasm isn't necessarily a driving force.
Older men can give you multiple orgasms, spend hours on foreplay, have sex so long you change position five times, and still not have an orgasm of their own.
The first time I experienced that, I felt guilty. Wasn't part of the point of sex to get off?

For an older man, the answer is simple – not always. They understand that sex is about the connection, the intimacy, and the shared pleasure. Sure, an orgasm is nice, but it's not always a requirement.
I'm not dissing the younger guys out there. I just know what I like – and why.

These Real Women Want To Show Clueless Men How To Give Them Orgasms

They're doing God's work, really.
Orgasms can be confusing. It may appear that everybody knows when they have one or how to give one, but the truth is that orgasms are a complete mystery to many.
You'd think that with all the information that's out there, there wouldn't be so many unanswered questions about the big O. Unfortunately, women feel that if they aren't experts on orgasms, there's something wrong with them; hence, women tend not to ask questions regarding climaxing and female pleasure.
A woman can feel shameful if she's not getting off the way she believes other women are. Women sometimes feel too embarrassed to ask their friends or doctors what to do to improve their success at orgasming.
But hallelujah! There's a new website called OMGYes that's here to finally clear up the confusion regarding having and giving orgasms.

OMGYes (the sound you may make when you have an orgasm or go on to the site) is an online orgasm training program that uses real women (not robots or animations) to show exactly how they orgasm.

When you're logged into the site, you can practice the very same motions specific women prefer over videos of their actual vaginas, including all the parts you'd find in a real-time meeting with a flesh-and-blood woman. The videos are pre-recorded, but have been made to react to various types of touch depending on the motions of the various users. It's not only informative — it's pretty fun, too.

The range of techniques and terms is astounding and include:
Accenting: Extra attention to part of a motion
Framing: How pleasure is mostly between the ears.
Staging: Ways in which sensitivity changes over time
Layering: Indirect pleasure through surrounding skin
Orbiting: The million ways of circling the clitoris
Signaling: Styles of giving and understanding feedback
Edging: Ensuring a larger orgasm by approaching and denying
Hinting: Passing by and only occasionally indulging
Consistency: Keeping everything exactly the same
Surprise: Defying expectation to enhance pleasure
Rhythm: A well-timed, almost musical loop of motion
Multiples: Overcoming sensitivity to build multiple orgasms
With this comprehensive vocabulary, women are better able to express what they want when having sex.

"Today there's a lot of 'I like that thing you did. Can you do that thing?'" Rob Perkins, the co-founder of OMGYes, told Mic. "But there aren't words for the specifics about women's pleasure. There's Urban Dictionary on one hand, and gynecologists' clinical terms on the other."
Which of these techniques will work best for you? You'll have to find out for yourself, but at least now you have a fantastic resource to help you reach your peak of pleasure.

Crazy! This Is The REAL Reason Women Moan During Sex

Who knew?!
Not for those who easily blush, the noises women make during sex was the actual subject of a research study.
Researchers refer to sex noises and orgasm screams in much more scientific language: copulatory vocalizations. The question they wanted to answer was whether the noises a woman makes during sex are voluntary or a reflex, or consequence of orgasm.
You have to wonder where researchers come up with these questions.
The researchers were interested in exploring the relationship between sexual vocalizations and orgasm. Their primary question was whether such vocalizations were an involuntary reflex of orgasm (or associated with orgasm), or whether they were independent of the act of reaching climax.

They recruited 71 sexually active, heterosexual women from the local community with a mean age of 22 years old, and administered a questionnaire asking the subjects about their vocalizations during sex.
Consistent with prior research, women most often reported reaching orgasm during masturbation or self-manipulation, and secondly by manipulation by their partner. Oral sex was the third most likely way to achieve orgasm, followed by the way women least frequently achieve orgasm: penetration by a man. Women in the study reported they most often experienced an orgasm during foreplay.
What about vocalizations? Did they most often appear around a woman's own orgasm?
Surprising to some, the answer was no. The researchers found that a woman's vocalizations occurred around the man's orgasm, most often just before or simultaneously with male ejaculation.

The researchers theorize why this may be, saying, "The data clearly demonstrates a dissociation of the timing of women experiencing orgasm and making copulatory vocalizations, and indicate that there is at least an element of these responses that are under conscious control, providing women with an opportunity to manipulate male behavior to their advantage."
According to this study, whether they know it or not, women appear to vocalize during sex — not to express their own enjoyment, but to help the man reach climax.

This is keeping with the idea that we all have sexual scripts in our head of our idealized sexual encounter and what we believe our partners want:
Another study said, "Both men's and women's perceptions of their partners' ideal duration of foreplay and intercourse were found to be more strongly related to their own sexual stereotypes than to their partners' self-reported sexual desires, suggesting that people rely on sexual stereotypes when estimating their partners' ideal sexual scripts."

Maybe these vocalizations are a part of that idealized sexual script, or at least done in response to what women believe their male partner wants.
A good question for a future study, but in the meantime I hope I didn't ruin it for anyone who thought women were making noises only because they were enjoying it. It appears to be a little more complicated than that.

This article was originally published at Psych Central. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Researcher: Not All Women Have A G-Spot

This is sure to rile some people up but could really explain a lot.

We’re pretty sure that this is going to really bother every sexpert on Earth, but an Italian researcher has deemed that not all women have a G-Spot and thus not all women can have a vaginal orgasm (which we will now call vorgasms). …Ok, stop yelling. We’re wondering how this has gone unnoticed for so long (it accurate). The guy responsible for naming the G-Spot, Dr. Gräfenberg, ‘found’ this magical zone back in 1981. You would think that all research about it would have been exhausted by now.
OK, Emmanuele Jannini (we’re betting women can climax just from hearing his name) did an ultrasound on the pelvic area of 9 women that can vorgams and 11 that cannot. He discovered that sensitivity depended on the thickness of the tissue there. Which almost gives credence the G-Shot actually working. Before you dismiss this guy as kook that just likes checking out hoo-ha’s, he discovered the biological compound PDE5. It’s concentrated around where the G-Spot is alleged to be and it aids in maintaining the male erection. So, he’s a pretty big deal.

We’re just going to sit back and wait for the rest of the sex research community to punch this research to pieces… we’re waiting. This could explain why some researchers say that 80% of women can't orgasm through intercourse alone.
On a side note, a weightlifter mentioned yesterday that competitive bodybuilders sometimes use an oily substance called Synthol to appear bigger and that this could be the mysterious ‘filler’ in the G-Shot.
Read more about the missing G-Spot at The Australian…

How To Have An Orgasm EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. You Have Sex

Never miss out on your big finish again.
Learning how to have an orgasm is surprisingly easy. If you've never had one before, this guide will show you exactly what you need to do in order to have a powerful, body-shaking orgasm by yourself, as well as with your partner.
I've split this tutorial into two parts; both are equally important. In the first part, I'm going to explain the things you need to do before you start masturbating or pleasuring yourself so that you're guaranteed to have a super-strong orgasm. Afterward, I'm going to show you the specific techniques you need to use to have an orgasm.
This is simply because when figuring out how to reach orgasm, whether by yourself or with a man, you need to be able to do two things: put yourself in the right mindset, and know how to physically bring yourself to orgasm. Let's begin your journey on how to reach orgasm.

1. Learn how to have an orgasm by yourself.
Before ever trying to orgasm with your man, you should first start by learning how to have an orgasm on your own. There's a lot less pressure to perform when you're just by yourself and nobody is watching.
Not only should you try to reach orgasm when you're somewhere alone or private, but you should also try to make sure that you're as comfortable as possible. For almost everyone, the place that's both comfortable and private is their bedroom. But for others, it's the bathroom or even the shower.
It's ultimately up to you where your comfortable place is. As well as being in a private, comfortable place, you also need to be able to get yourself in the mood to have an orgasm.
2. Embrace your fantasies, kinks and turn-ons.
Having the best orgasms requires you to intimately know what turns you on and arouses you. So, you need to do a little exploring. Start examining what kinds of things turn you on. For many, the classic examples of being with a guy they find hot or being swept off their feet, or having sex in front of a roaring fire, arouses them immensely.

However, you'll find that most people have kinks and fantasies that aren't as mainstream as this. These could be things like being dominated by a guy or two, or even a group of guys. Or they could involve things like feet, wearing certain clothes or being degraded. For many women, watching porn is a massive turn on, while others can't stand it. The list is endless.
The important thing is to find out what turns you on and embrace it. Embracing and getting comfortable with your turn-ons and kinks is crucial to learning how to have a powerful orgasm. This is how you set the mood inside your head.
Setting the mood outside your head can also be important. You may find that lighting candles, dimming the lights, listening to your favorite song, even wearing certain clothes or no clothes at all can help you massively in reaching orgasm.
3. Don't forget about technique.

Now that we've covered the boring (but still very important) stuff, let's learn some techniques that will help you to have an orgasm.
Include finger foreplay: This first technique is pretty straightforward. It's designed simply to get you in the mood, which will make building up to having an orgasm a lot easier. All you're going to be doing is run your fingers over your erogenous zones, all over your body and focusing on what feels good.
For some they may feel more and more aroused by playing with their nipples, while others much prefer to massage their inner thighs, and many really like to slowly stroke their labia up and down with their fingers. Play around and discover what you like and enjoy. Remember: the goal here is to focus on what's enjoyable.
Pay attention to the clitoral hood: While the final aim is to learn how to achieve orgasm, keep focusing only on what feels good. Don't get caught up with the orgasm part just yet. You may like to very lightly brush and stroke over the clitoral hood, while others may like much more forceful pressure. At the end of the day, it's really up to you. So experiment with different amounts of pressure until you discover what's most pleasurable.

Use direct stimulation: Once you're really enjoying yourself, it's time to discover the secret of how to have an orgasm while masturbating. The easiest way is with direct stimulation with the tips of your fingers on your clitoris. All you need to do is rub your clitoris with a side-to-side motion or an up-and-down motion.
Start by experimenting with the lightest amount of pressure and then slowly increase the amount of pressure you apply. As you do, try to note how good (or bad) it feels. Then concentrate on what feels best, as this will help you to have an orgasm.
4. Focus on the pleasure, not the outcome.
When learning how to have an orgasm on your own, you need to follow one piece of counter-intuitive advice: don't focus on trying to have an orgasm. Focus on what feels good and pleasurable, and eventually that feeling will build to an orgasm. Maybe not the first time you try it, but eventually.

5. Bring your man in on the action.
Once you know how to reach orgasm on your own, it's time to get your man involved. If you find that you're struggling to reach orgasm during sex, you can show your man what you like or you can just do what works by yourself during sex.
.......
If you want to learn some powerful oral sex tips and techniques, then you may be interested in watching this intense tutorial video. Click here to watch it now.

Say What!? People With THIS Kind Of Vagina Have Better Orgasms

How did we NOT know this?!
If you have trouble having an orgasm from penetrative sex, you're not alone — most women can't.
Apparently, a woman's ability to orgasm during sex depends on a physical development that happened while she was still in the womb, at least according to new research. During gestation, the clitoris begins to drift up and away from the vaginal opening.

For some women, their clitoris has drifted too far up, which can make it very difficult or even impossible to have an orgasm during sex. If the clitoris and urinary opening are closer together, the woman will have a better chance of having an orgasm than those with a larger distance between the area.
If there's a large space between the clitoris and the vaginal opening, it isn't just challenging to have an orgasm — it can be damn near impossible. The reason for this difficulty is because traditional sex doesn't provide enough friction to stimulate the clitoris.
The magic number (for the distance) is 2.5 centimeters, slightly less than one inch.

"It's so strong a correlation that if you give us a woman who has a distance of three centimeters, we can very reliably predict she won't have orgasm with intercourse," said Elizabeth Lloyd, an affiliated faculty scholar with the Kinsey institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University-Bloomington.
Other factors, such as penis size, the ability and skill of the partner or the desire "might have some effect, but it really is the anatomical distance that seems to be predictive," Lloyd said.
But what's the reason for the clitoris drift in the first place? The answer is exposure to male hormones in the womb. "If she's exposed to a lot of androgen, the clitoral bud migrates far away," Lloyd said.

If you or a partner do the measuring and your clitoris is far away from your urinary opening, don't say goodbye to orgasms forever — just pay a little more attention to your clitoris. It's a key player in the orgasm game.

The WEIRD Thing I Learned When I Finally Threw All My Vibrators Away

Throwing away sex toys is a strange, strange experience.
It's very similar to throwing away a child's lost tooth or a ratty old bra. They have done their time, served their purpose and although there's sentimentality attached, there's no place for them in a memento book. Nobody I know wants a secondhand vibrator, baby tooth, or saggy bra.
I'm sure there's an artist somewhere in the world who's producing an art installation right now using old butt plugs held together with discarded underwire, but I'm not really in the mood to find him nor am I in the mood to begin an art project of my own.
How many vibrators does a girl really need, anyway? I apparently needed 17, in every color of the rainbow and in every size possible: some realistic, some just plain terrifying.

First to be tossed in the trash was a wobbly green vibrator bought for me by a friend back in the 90s. (Should you even keep vibrators that long? I shiver.) Over the years it amassed so much cat hair and sock fuzz that it looked like the Hulk had a very questionable night with a glue stick and the laundry basket.

Second to go was a little pink rabbit I received in a bachelorette gift bag. (Why we have to make rabbit vibrators look like rabbits, complete with buck teeth and a carrot, is beyond me.) The sad truth about this little vibrator is that it gave out halfway through its first use. If you've ever had a vibrator die on you in a moment of need, you'll surely understand my recent purchase of a $150 rechargeable vibrator with a 10-year warranty.
Deeper in the drawer I found an egg-type vibrator with a purple silicone sleeve that had dozens of dangling purple nubbins at one end. I'm fairly certain the nubbins were meant to entertain my clitoris, but my clitoris wasn't amused. Instead, my clitoris felt a little strange with something that resembled Barney the Dinosaur's unkempt goatee near it.
As I continued to unearth many of the treasures contained in my "sock" drawer, I found some rusty nipple clamps, several sets of Kegel balls, and complicated bondage straps I had long since lost the instructions for.

Many of these sex toys had been at the bottom of the drawer for so long they were coated in a fine layer of immovable dust and fuzz which just screamed UNHYGIENIC.
Once the drawer was down to functioning vibrators, plugs and blindfolds, it was time to move on to the various lubes, lotions, creams and gels contained within. First was the warming nipple gel that turned my pink parts into sticky cat hair magnets. Another gel claimed to be tasty and delicious, and it was ... if you consider cough syrup-flavored penis appetizing.

Then there was the cream that promised my clitoris a "cool and tingling" sensation. If by "cool and tingling" they meant "feels like you peed your pants," then job well done. Also lurking in the corner was the remnant of a lube that accidentally turned my husband's mouth numb.
By the time I was done, I had a garbage can full of oddly shaped silicone, useless wires, discarded dildos and a few scraggly feathers. The drawer was scrubbed clean of all remnant sock fluff and replenished with creams and lubes that do their job without stink, stickiness, or the unexpected side effect of feeling like you were shot up with Novocaine.

The last real challenge was getting the bag out of the house without curious children asking why I was throwing away so many "teething toys." I'm pleased to say I was successful.
Here's the most important lesson I learned after going through so much sexual waste: Don't take a vibrator just because it's free.
When purchasing a new one, look at them the same way you would a potential partner: for quality and durability over time. Just like a good mate, invest in them, take care of them, and they will take care of you for many years to come, if you know what I mean.

I Tried The 'Passion Pretzel' Sex Position And Had An EXPLOSIVE O

No, this is definitely not a seasonal treat from Auntie Anne's.
I was a little confused about this sex position, to be honest. It seemed almost impossible to gain any sort of momentum or thrusting in this odd little number. I wonder who thought of the passion pretzel sex position?
This surely was cooked up in a time of complete and utter boredom. I love variety but I also like getting off. On the other hand, this position did have some other positives to offer: plenty of touching for both parties, since J and I would be face-to-face and no one had to use their hands to support.
Maybe this could be an appetizer before the real thing? We would soon find out.
J and I got into this while watching a documentary about Pussy Riot on TV. I'm not sure if it was our fervor for unfairly imprisoned individuals or the spicy food we had earlier, but we were feeling very frisky.

We started making out horizontal-style until I suggested that we try the Passion Pretzel.

J remarked, "I'd rather just have a real pretzel."
"You'd rather eat a pretzel than bone me?" I asked miffed.
"No silly, I'd rather do you. But I'd rather do it doggie style."
J and I did the Passion Pretzel and it started fairly organically. We were both in the kitchen when he came up behind me and kissed my neck. I turned around and we started to make out high-school dance style. Then he kissed his way down my body, lifting my shirt as he went, until he was on his knees.

I joined him on the kitchen floor. And that's when the idea for the Passion Pretzel popped into my head. (This is the good thing about doing a sex challenge: everything that vaguely resembles a sex position becomes an opportunity. Hell, I've even found myself sitting on the subway or walking up the stairs at my manicure place, thinking, "Hmmm, J and I could do the Couch Canoodle or Backstairs Boogaloo here." Then I catch myself and think, "Eww germs.")
I quickly described the Pretzel to J, and he was game. Though, frankly, I could have described any position and he would have been game. The boy was horny. Gotta love those morning hours.

We stripped and assumed the position. Then suddenly, as J and I were pushing back and forth against each other, an image of me hooking up with The Coif popped into my head. I remembered this one time we had sex kneeling on the kitchen floor (though without the opposite legs up, like the Pretzel calls for). And I couldn't get it out of my head.
I couldn't bear the thought of looking at J, so I started to kiss his neck. Then I couldn't bear the thought of not looking at J so I pulled back and locked eyes with him. But I kept thinking about The Coif. And I didn't even try that hard to stop. This really shook me.
Eventually, I distracted myself by focusing on every little sensation, from the pressure of J's hands on my butt cheeks to his lips on mine, and of course, to the way his pelvic bone was grinding against my clitoris. Ironically, this is what made the sex so hot.
Just as J started to come and thrust really hard against me, I had a really strong clitoral orgasm.

Putting aside my guilt (even if did teach me a good lesson about how to enjoy the moment and focus on the pleasure), the pose absolutely gets my recommendation. It was a great mix of feeling in control and feeling a bit dominated. And while J couldn't get too deep, all that grinding felt so freaking good. Definitely a fun variation on standing up sex. Plus, I think it gave my thighs a workout.

I Tried The (Painful) Pinwheel Sex Position And Yeah, NEVER Again

It's like walking past a bakery and getting a whiff; it's just enough to make your mouth salivate.
There are many things that I prefer shallow: cuts (don't want stitches), bowls (easier to access food), pools (I'm a crappy swimmer). But sex is not one of them. That's why I was skeptical about trying the Pinwheel sex position. After all, what would be the point of having a penis only go part way in?
Neither T nor I were sure, but we were both horny, so we didn't really care as long as it involved taking our clothes off. After warming up in the Jacuzzi downstairs, we went back up to get down and dirty. Not wasting much time, T tore my bathing suit off and led me over to the bed.
He laid down on his back propping himself on his elbows with his knees bent in butterfly pose. I got on top lowering my nether regions onto his. Then, instead of leaning forward as I might do in "woman on top," I lay back using my hands to stay propped up.

Then he put one leg on top of me (still flat and bent a la butterfly) holding me down. So if you looked at us from an aerial view, we would look like a little pinwheel. Or maybe a bow tie.
"Ready?" he asked.
"You know what, I'm not really into your foot on my chest. It's kinda weird," I replied. There was something decidedly unsexy about a foot (even if it was T's) on me. "Let's just have both your legs behind me."
"Whatever my little cupcake wants!" He moved his leg and I repositioned.
"OK, now I'm ready!" I exclaimed enthusiastically. He held onto my thighs and started to thrust.
"You know, I wasn't sure about this but it's kind of fun," I said. "It's like a tease before the real thing."

"Yeah I know what you mean," T replied. "It's getting me kind of worked up."
As we went back and forth, I found myself slowly getting turned on by the slow buildup. It's like walking past a bakery and getting a whiff; it's just enough to make your mouth salivate and want more. You're not satisfied until you have the real thing, but you enjoy getting titillated.

The Pinwheel also made it easy for T to play with my clitoris, not to mention a whole new view he had yet to experience. Nonetheless, this sex position wasn't one either of us could enjoy for long. We quickly switched to regular old woman on top where I rode him until we both collapsed in a sweaty heap.
Penetration just wasn't deep enough to really fully enjoy the act, but it served as a great appetizer for the main course.

10 Brutally Honest Things Women REALLY Think During Anal Sex

Owwww.
Anal sex: It always feels a little bit forbidden and risque, and that's exactly why, at some point, it will come up in conversation. So if you do give it a try, how will you feel about it? What will it be like? Is it fun? Is it awkward? Weird? Messy? What will even be going through your head?
"This will vary from woman to woman, but the range will include 'This is really sexy' to 'This is really painful' to 'I really wish he'd stop watching all that porn.' It depends a lot on whether she really wants to have the experience for her own pleasure (or even just for the adventure), or whether she’s doing it as, I don't know, a birthday present," says Carol Queen of Good Vibrations.

According to Coleen Singer of Sssh.com, although this really depends on if a woman really likes anal sex or is simply doing it to please her partner as a treat, some of the random thoughts women may have during anal sex can vary.

1. Ouch! Is it over soon?

2. I sure hope when he pulls out there isn't any poop on his dick. Gross.
3. Hmmm... it actually felt sort of OK when he tested it with just his finger.
4. I sure hope we don't run out of lube.
5. Great, now there's lube on my sheets! Unless this is going to take a surprising turn, we probably don't need any more lube on my ankle, my neck, or my area rug, either. Does everyone who has anal sex buy new sheets every time?

6. What is it supposed to feel like? It's fun, and it feels... good?
7. Just wait until next time when I bring out the strap-on dildo and peg him. That will be fun to see his reaction.
8. Oh, this feels much better than I thought it would. I like it!

9. Relax, relax, relax, relax... breathe!
10. I need to buy black gloves for less visible poop.

"For one thing, if I'm having anal sex I'm never NOT surprised that a dude thinks it's something that can just happen. Like, no. Sure, lube is wonderful AND necessary but my god, it isn't miracle cream. I'm also never not thinking that next time I need to invest in black gloves for health, safety, and less visible poop," says writer Becca Stokes.

7 Ways To Make Sex About SO Much More Than Straight Intercourse

It shouldn't be so clinical!
Intercourse-only sex is often not very good sex, and the way our culture has tended to define real sex as only intercourse doesn't help matters.
"The things that can make sex most satisfying and arousing are often slighted as 'foreplay,' and we don't actually teach enough about why these things are crucial to enjoyment for many women. Those activities might seem like kid stuff, but they are some of the most sophisticated sexual activities you can do — and they can be highly, highly pleasurable," says Carol Queen, sexologist for Good Vibrations.
Pay attention to every part of the run-up to intercourse and give it as much focus as all the rest of sex. The kissing, touching, caressing, connecting; the first genital contact with hands and mouth; the building arousal — that kind of focus will improve your sex life vastly.

Sex plays a big role in romantic relationships and in many ways can improve a couple's bond. Here are seven ways to make sex so much more than just intercourse.

1. Always start with foreplay, no excuses.
We all know foreplay is a great way to get both parties ready for action. Don't skip out on it.
"Not just a little kissing before sex, but make an event out of it! Light some candles in the bedroom. Burn some incense. Put on some sexy, romantic music," says Singer.

2. Give each other a sensual massage.

Your woman certainly won't be complaining about you giving her a sensual massage. Be sure to take turns so you can both experience the soothing touch. All of these little touches will add to the mutual experience.
3. Don't forget the afterplay.

Once both partners have been satisfied, spend a little bit of time cuddling. Beyond simple cuddling and cooing, have a glass of wine together. Feed each other grapes. Anything that you both enjoy doing together will take things to the next level of intimacy.
4. Kiss each other in all different ways.

"There are so many types of kisses and so much you do with kissing — on the lips, of course; on both your and his erogenous zones: neck, ears, wrists, nipples, inner thighs, back, behind the knees, the bum, even feet; anything and everything between the legs. Think about creating a marathon makeout session for at least 30 minutes before you even consider penetration," says sex expert Dana Myers of Booty Parlor.
5. Pay attention to the erogenous zones.
"Massage is great for slowing down and reconnecting with your lover before you head into home base. It relieves stress and stimulates the senses instead of rushing into intercourse. Be sure to use a good massage oil — one with a smooth, non-sticky texture, and warm it up in between your palms to increase the heat. Your goal is to keep it sexy," says Myers.
6. Touch each other slowly.

"Manual stimulation is fantastic foreplay because it can deliver sweet satisfaction in ways that penetration simply can't. Glide your lover's hand on the outside of your clothes first, and then let your partner continue over your panties. Eventually, slide his hands underneath them. Taking it slow, layer by layer, is a surefire way to stretch out your sensual experience and prolong your pleasure," says Myers.
7. Ban intercourse for a week or two.

"My clients who prefer not to have sex while on their periods find that the week of menstruation can be the hottest sex of the month, as they're forced to push their comfort zone and use their toys, hands, lube, mouths and tongues to reach orgasm. It can be super-hot to orgasm with your panties on!" says Dr. Jess, Astroglide's resident sexologist.

5 Foods That Will Make Your Orgasms Even HOTTER

And none of them are disgusting!

If you're trying to figure out have an orgasm, there are a lot of things you can try.
You can experiment with different sex positions that might make having an orgasm easier for you.
You can also play around with sex toys and different lubricants that might help spice up your foreplay and help you let your guard down.
These options are all well and good, but if you REALLY want to know how to have an orgasm, the key to is actually your stomach.

That's right. 

Food.

Here are 5 things you could be eating every single day of the week to have the hottest orgasms of your life. 

1. Eggs

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Eggs have choline in them, a chemical that helps produce more nitric oxide which improves your circulation, sending much-needed blood to your clitoris.
In addition to that, eggs are a must-have if you're looking for foods to help you have better orgasms, because they are so packed with healthy protein.
The protein gives you the energy to keep you having sex for as long as it takes to reach orgasm without stopping for snacks! 

Talk about hot orgasms! 

2. Spinach 

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I knew that spinach gave Popeye some extra pop, but I had no idea that it contained HUGE amounts of manganese!
Manganese increases estrogen in your body and helps manage the chemical prolactin.
In excess amounts, prolactin has been linked to sexual dysfunction in women, so regulating it with a little bit of the green could lead to better orgasms in the long run! 

3. Avocados 

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Not all fats are created equal, and the healthy fats in avocado are proof! 

Working in healthy fats can actually improve your cholesterol!
Cholesterol helps keeps your sex hormones nice and balanced, which means fewer nights where you just don't feel like having sex. 

Yes, please! 

4. Oysters

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It's a cliche, but it's a so well-know for a reason.

Oysters are packed with all sorts of important vitamins and minerals. 

Chief among them, is zinc, which boosts testosterone levels. 

Feed your man these and he'll be ready to keep pleasuring you all night.

Try a few yourself, and you'll reap the benefits of a heightened sex drive.

More orgasms, here we come! 

5. Dark chocolate

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Why do we all love dark chocolate so much?
Probably because it contains a chemical called phenethylamine, which can make the body feel intense pleasure and almost intoxication.
Dark chocolate lowers your inhibitions, leaving you free to enjoy the sensations you might be too self-conscious to enjoy during sex otherwise. 

Chocolate AND better orgasms? 

Sign me up.