We Asked Women To Share Which Orgasm FEELS The Best — Do You Agree?

Not all orgasms are created equal...

Contrary to what Dr. Sigmund Freud would have us think, there's no right way for a woman to have an orgasm.  

When it comes to coming, every woman has an orgasm differently. 

One of the most common forms of orgasm is the clitoral orgasm, but there are women who find the vaginal orgasm just as satisfying, if not more so. 

Then there are those unique women who can have an orgasm just by thinking about it (those lucky beasts).

There are also women who can have orgasms just by playing with their nipples. 

I talk to my girlfriends about sex all the time. Nothing is off limits. But for some reason, orgasms never come up. 

Everything I know about female orgasms, whether from the clitoris or the vagina, I've learned from having them or reading about them. 

So I decided to put a stop to that and ask my friends to anonymously share their thoughts on orgasms. 

What I learned was enlightening to say the least. 

Which kind of orgasm do you have the most: Vaginal, Clitoral, or other?

• Of the 20 women I spoke to, 18 women had this response: "Clitoral"
   

• "I have about the same, but only because I prefer to not have too-intense orgasms all the time (AKA clitoral orgasm)."
   
• "I say it's about 50/50.
  
  

Giphy

How are your vaginal, clitoral, or other orgasms different from each other? Please explain as best you can. No detail is too small.

• "Contractions from both, both are amazing, but vaginal orgasm feels like it's much deeper/g-spot centered, and the clitoris is stimulated but less directly so."
   
• "Clitoral is the only way. Vaginal feels nice and all, but it's not bringing me to orgasm."
   
• "Clitoral orgasms, for me, tend to be way more intense. But sometimes TOO intense, if that makes any sense. As much as it pretty much guarantees an orgasm, sometimes it's more pleasurable to have one of those whole-body feel-good orgasms you get from straight vaginal sex without clitoral stimulation. Actually, sometimes sex without a "defined" orgasm is the BEST kind of sex. It's fun, it's sexy and that's really what counts. (And what's worse than a guy asking after everything is said and done... "Did you come?" Mood killer.)"
   
• "Vaginal is more intense than clitorial."
   
• "Clitorial is good for when I want to get off quickly. I like vaginal when I want it to last. Some devices are too powerful and they make it harder to have good sex without one if I use it too often. I have better orgasms when I'm rested, and some orgasms feel like they are in the mind."
   
• "Clitoral orgasms are short and intense. G-spot orgasms are more deeply fulfilling and relaxing. Anal orgasms are powerful and exhausting. Mostly they kind of get mushed up together, though. And all are a welcome experience, of course." 
   
• "Vaginal are deeper, longer. Clitoral are easier to have but shallower. The combo of both is the best."
  
  
  

Giphy

• "Vaginal orgasm feels much more full body than clitoral. Vaginal also take a lot longer to achieve ... like you need to be much more aroused. I can pull off a clitoral orgasm in like 3 minutes with my fingers. For vaginal, I need lots of stimulus and a dildo of some sort. Vaginal orgasms leave me extremely relaxed. Like pass-out tired."
   
• "It feels different. The intensity varies between both. I prefer both to happen at the same time. But that takes coordination. Haha."
   
• "I've never had a vaginal orgasm so I can't describe a difference!"
   
• "Clitoral: easier, intense, short Vaginal: more challenging, worth it, also maybe squirting."

Why Drunk, Sloppy, Laughter-Filled Sex Is The BEST Kind To Have

Let's get drunk and screw.

You know what's great? Hot sex. On this, I think we can all agree. 

Two (or more) people get together, give their enthusiastic consent, whip off their clothes, stimulate each other's genitals, and in an ideal world, there are orgasms for everyone. 

The only way sex could be more fun is if you had a robot that discreetly wheeled a tray of ice cold water and delicious snacks into the room after you were done.

But alas, we are not in The Jetsons, and are left to retrieve our own post-sex snacks.

giphy

In the movies, sex is exclusively erotic and seductive. There are curtains fluttering and woman who can have orgasms just from a man kissing their clavicle during foreplay. 

In porn you see buff men and thin women, regular hardbodies the lot of them, going at it energetically, barely breaking a sweat. It's the sexiest kind of aerobic activity there is, and if you know how to do it right, sex can be a beautiful dance. 

But that's not the kind of sex I love the most. 

I love sex that's a bit, well, sloppy. I love sex when I've had a round of scotch and my head is floating.

I love sex when my boyfriend and I bump teeth in the dark and dissolve into giggles. I love the kind of sex that you wake up from the next morning and wonder where the hell your bra is. 

Tipsy or drunk sex is the best kind of sex there is, and I defy anyone to tell me anything differently. 

Giphy

I'm not saying you should be having blackout drunk sex. 

For one thing, consent in sex is fundamental. If you're inebriated enough that you don't know your own name, you aren't able to consent. That means no sex, even if you want it. And that, my friends, is a major bummer. But obviously rape is a much bigger bummer. 

Also, drinking to excess probably means you'll get hit with a nasty hangover and I think we can all agree that hangovers are proof that the devil is real and that he hates all of us. 

But when you go out for a night on the town with your sweetie and you have more than one glass of wine (because it isn't a school night), and you get giddy and silly and feel super uninhibited and wind up making out in the bar's bathroom like a couple of naughty twenty-somethings it can feel goddamn electric. 

One reason guys get worried about drinking alcohol before they have sex because whiskey dick is a real phenomenon. Alcohol is not a friend to the penis trying to achieve and maintain an erection. 

But all sex doesn't have to be about having an orgasm, hell, all sex doesn't have to even be about penile penetration. 

Fingers are magical, and mouths are damn near wizards when it comes to performing sexual acts on one another. So a case of whiskey dick isn't always the worse scenario.

I think when we have drunk sex we are less worried about trying to replicate how we think sex should be, and we allow ourselves to revel in each other's bodies in a totally authentic way.

So he can't stay hard. The world isn't going to end. You're still going to laugh and wrestle and spoon and talk and connect on the deepest possible level. 

​Giphy

Sure, athletic, hard-body sex where you hit all the right buttons and go for hours is awesome, but it isn't all there is. 

Sleepy, tipsy, full-tummy sex isn't about orgasm, it's about love and fondness and connection.

It's about wanting to share skin with your best friend, and frankly, it doesn't get any better than that as far as I am concerned. 

What To Do If You Can't Make A Woman Orgasm

Understand this: Pleasure without orgasm is still pleasure.

Hey, stud.

We all know women fake orgasms… a lot. You might even suspect your woman is guilty of faking it.

But do you know the biggest reason why women feel the need to do it? The main reason a woman will fake orgasms is because we try too hard to give her one.

Look, your woman wants to please you. She wants to make you feel good.

She wants to orgasm for you because she knows it’ll boost your ego and make you feel like a stud.

Giphy

The problem is that she’s focusing on "trying to orgasm" instead of focusing on (and enjoying) the pleasure that makes orgasms happen.

Here’s an analogy I really like.

The most successful business owners in the world don’t focus on "getting money" (well, the ethical ones don’t). Successful and ethical business owners focus on creating value for their customers. Once they’ve created something their customers value, trading that value for money is simple. But, they focus on the creation of value, not the money.

The same mindset can help you transform into a master lover. Instead of focusing on giving orgasms, focus on giving pleasure.

When a woman's pleasure is your only focus, she feels it, and orgasms come naturally.

Stop being so greedy!

Tumblr

When we focus on her orgasm, what we’re really focused on is getting instead of giving.

We’re focused on "taking" her orgasm to feed our ego and make ourselves feel good. We’ve all done this. I know I have. It doesn’t make us bad people. Well, it did. But not anymore.

Instead of trying to "take" her orgasm to feed your ego, shift your mind to giving pleasure.

Understand this: Pleasure without orgasm is still pleasure.

Tumblr

If she's trying to orgasm, she’s in her head, thinking. She’s feeling pressure to achieve a goal. It's not sexy and it's not going to make her come.

Think about it.

Have you ever been "in your head" thinking and worrying during sex? Have you ever felt pressure to achieve a goal in bed? Of course, you have. What guy hasn’t?

So let me ask, how did that work out for you? Not too good I’m guessing. So here’s how to help her get out of her head and into the sweet world of orgasmic ecstasy.

1. NEVER ask her questions like "Did you come?", "Are you close?", or "How bout now?"

These types of questions only make her wonder things like "Am I taking too long?", "Does he not like this?", or "I need to come or he’s going to feel bad."

These thoughts will butcher her chances of reaching a climax because she’s focused on something that’s not happening instead of focusing on the pleasurable sensations you’re giving her.

So don’t interrogate her about some goal. Instead, use your words to shift all of her focus to positive, pleasurable sensations.

If I say "Don’t think of a pink elephant", what do you think of? One part of your mind might think "No, don’t do it." And another part creates a picture of a pink elephant so that it knows what not to think about.

This is why a lot of advertisers will say things like "Have you ever wondered how many orgasms a woman can have in one night?" Asking the question shifts our focus and makes us think about it.

2. Direct your woman's focus. 

Tumblr

You can use this same principal above to direct your woman's focus. You might say something like "You taste amazing, baby. I love feeling you against my tongue."

In order to truly understand what you’re saying, she has to focus on "feeling herself against your tongue."

It also lets her know that you’re enjoying yourself and you’re not rushing to get anywhere. You are also enjoying the journey of pleasure.

Notice what her skin feels like when you lightly run your fingertips on it. Notice the sensation your taste buds feel when you stroke your tongue against her.

Savor her as if you’re tasting the finest wine that has ever graced your lips. Let her see how much you love it and let her know you’d be happy doing it for hours.

3. Enjoy making her feel good.

Giphy

Imagine your woman was going down on you and kept stopping every couple of minutes to ask you if you’re almost there yet.

Imagine getting the feeling that she’s not really enjoying what she’s doing. Now, contrast that with a woman who’s going down on you and it’s obvious that she loves it.

You can tell there’s nothing she’d rather be doing and she stops only long enough to tell you how much she loves feeling you in her mouth and tasting your manhood.

This is how you want her to feel.

So let her see that you’re doing it because she’s absolutely delicious and you’re getting pleasure tasting her — not because you’re trying to achieve some goal or want a turn or because you need your ego stroked.

Focus on the pleasure and orgasms will follow.