I was driven to cheat with a friend by my abusive husband — it made me feel alive

I HAD an affair with a good friend when I was going through hell with my abusive husband.

I stopped it after a few weeks but having sex with this man made me feel alive — and now I wonder how I can bear life without him?

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I’m 36 and my husband is 38. We have three brilliant daughters who are aged 13, 11 and seven.

He was ill a couple of years ago and it was horrible. He was in pain and had to stop work. He was massively stressed about money and everything else.

I had to work all hours to pay the bills — plus care for the kids, with my mum’s help, and do all the housework.

My husband then turned violent and mean towards me.

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We have since found out his bad moods were caused by the wrong medication but it was hell at the time and he said lots of things that hurt me a lot.

That’s when I started the affair. It was with a guy my age, who I was at school with and was always friendly with. He initially got in touch about a school reunion and we met for a drink to talk over old memories. But I found myself pouring out all my troubles.

He was lovely — so understanding and caring. We agreed to meet the next week — and the week after that we had sex.

He was divorced but I knew it was wrong. stopped the affair after a few weeks but it shows how desperate I felt.

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Life at home is now more or less normal again. My husband is back at work but I still can’t get over all the hurt that he caused me and still causes.

I still fear his temper and think about affairs and divorce every single day. I need to feel validated as a person in my own right, not just as a verbal punchbag and housekeeper.

I spend every day with a smile on my face but am crying inside.

I know if I got a divorce it would cause all my family pain, but I can’t carry on just pretending that everything’s fine.

I have health problems now, which my GP has told me are all down to stress.