How Feminism Is Ruining Women’s Sex Lives

The critics actually can’t agree.  When it comes to feminism and sex, the research shows the so-called sexually liberated woman who has her own career, family, and social life is far from happy.  Anecdotal evidence from the likes of original co-host of ‘The Five,’ Andrea Tantaros, highlights the difficulty women face in bringing together traditional feminity and ideas about what it means to be a modern woman.  But just when we thought the argument had been settled in favor of feminism ruining women’s sex lives, a study found that women married to ‘feminist’ men were having the best sex of their lives!  Read on below...

How feminism ruined... According to the original co-host of ‘The Five’, Andrea Tantaros, feminism has duped American women. In her book, “Tied Up In Knots," published last year, Tantaros wrote that no one told women of the consequences of the new array of choices given by greater gender equality - among them, more complicated and perhaps less satisfying sex lives.

How feminism ruined... In "Tied in Knots," Tantaros spoke of the challenge of being divided between her age-old traditional feminine inclinations and values and the promise of the modern female who has money, power, and a newly earned sense of privilege. Being passive in her personal relationships is difficult to balance with a take-charge attitude, she conceded.

How feminism ruined... The message that feminism may have cheated women and ruined their sex lives isn’t new. In 2010, Natalie Bencivenga, writing for the Huffington Post, asked the question of the link between feminism and less satisfaction in the bedroom directly. “Has feminism helped women when it comes to one of the best parts of being a woman - sex?” she asked.

How feminism ruined... According to Bencivenga, far from offering sexual liberation to women, feminism placed more restrictions and created ever-increasing challenges for women. It must be possible, she posited, to support female rights and still enjoy good sex.

How feminism ruined... One of the disadvantages of feminism, said Bencivenga, is the rejection of feminity, which is a woman’s strength. The ability to nurture, give life, stay connected to the earth, be compassionate, pragmatic and communicate effectively are needed more than ever, she wrote, “both masculine and feminine aspects are equally important.”

How feminism ruined... Research backs up the lived experience of a number of female cultural commentators when it comes to the link between greater female independence and unsatisfying sex lives. According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, “more freedom, more education and more power” has had the effect of making women “less happy

How feminism ruined... According to Dr Katherine Bejanyan, in “Has Independence Ruined Women’s Happiness in Relationships?’ published on the Huffington Post UK site, while women are decidedly less happy, it has more to do with the nature of independence and less so, with women relinquishing their femininity.

How feminism ruined... Trying to do everything alone was likely to make women feel less satisfied, wrote Bejanyan - anyone attempting to do so will feel “overwhelmed, stressed and unhappy.” It is important to remember, however, that women didn’t seek their independence in a bid to destroy men but in one to be treated more fairly and have their wellbeing be as important as men’s.

How feminism ruined... It is arguable whether sex was more satisfying when women’s had no rights over their own bodies and over other important aspects of their lives like financial security and wellbeing generally. Bejanyan points out that the centuries of forced marriages and rape, during which women were abused and mistreated overshadow the argument that feminism has ruined women’s lives, including their sexual relationships.

How feminism ruined... Instead of undermining the progress made by women as a result of feminism, wrote Bejanyan, it makes sense to promote relationships in which men and women can rely on each other’s help and support. If women fail to recognize the contribution made by partners, she said, of course it will damage the relationship.

How feminism ruined... One way that feminism may have ruined sex’s lives say other critics is by advocating the pill. According to author of ‘Sweetening the Pill: Or How We Got Hooked on Hormonal Birth Control,’ the pill “blocks a woman’s natural femininity.” It also colludes with a “patriarchal model” that reduces women to “workers bees” and “sex objects,” says Holly Grigg-Spall.

How feminism ruined... “We’ve gotten to a point where society accepts that sex isn’t an action between two equals,” wrote Karol Markowicz, in an open-ed for the New York Post, originally titled ‘Today’s Whiny Feminism is Killing Sex.’ By making men solely responsible for the “sexual encounter”, wrote Markowicz, feminism has turned women into victims.