The complexity of sexuality. When it comes to sexuality, people tend to break it down into categories. Two, typically. You're either gay or you're straight. As time has told us, however, this isn't really how things works. Sexuality is so much more complex than that — even if most people are too afraid to accept or believe that. If we can thank Alfred Kinsey for anything, it's for expanding the minds of millions of people, pushing them to think outside of this outdated sexual binary. Sexuality is not black and white. It's kind of.. shades of grey.
Fluidity. If you've been logging into at least some form of social media within the past year, then chances are you've come across a term referred to as sexual fluidity. This term refers to the leniency within someone's sexual nature. For example, a girl can kiss a girl without being a lesbian. That's because sexuality is truly more of a spectrum than it is a two-category binary. But society has accepted the concept of female sexual fluidity a lot more openly than they have that of male sexual fluidity.
Past the point of experimentation. By definition, a person who is sexually attracted to members of the same sex is gay. But that's not to say you can't indulge yourself without having to adhere to a set of “rules.” For one self-professed straight man, however, he hasn't just fooled around with guys here and there, he does it often.
Downtown. To some people, this man would seem like something of an anomaly — and rightfully so. When something feels contradictory to an already recognized fact, it's only natural that it'll cause confusion. Even (or especially) when it has to do with a straight guy enjoying his fair share of blow jobs.
Where it all began… When Nick Hardwick, a writer from Your Tango, sat down to jerk himself off one particular evening, he followed the same routine as most do — he sat down, took his penis out of his pants and then proceeded to scour the internet for some adult films to watch. What he ended up with surprised him. In more ways than one.
A surprise. What Nick was hardly expecting was for the woman in the scene to end up having a penis of her very own. As he puts it, she “got down on her knees to slowly peel off her panties… and that’s when it happened. A semi-erect penis fell out of them.” But did he stop? No. In fact, he was kind of turned on.
In defense of his decision. Even though he is adamant on his heterosexuality, he didn’t stop watching. He described himself as having a “throbbing erection,” and that’s when he started to justify his choices. As someone who enjoys jerking off to a woman giving a man head, he rationalized that this was actually the more hetero-friendly approach to watching such a scene.
Self-projection. As many people do when they’re watching adult films, Nick started to project himself into the scene. He would imagine himself joining this duo. This then led to asking himself whether or not he could ever see himself sucking a d*ck. Would he suck his own d*ck? Yes. So would sucking off someone who has a woman’s body really be so bad?
Society’s rules. As a straight man, he grew up with the idea that experimenting with another guy — let alone doing so recreationally — was absolutely never going to be accepted. But Nick decided to get over that. As he puts it, “As I kept watching videos of beautiful shemales, my desire to suck one of them off kept increasing and getting stronger.”
Broadening. The more he gave the idea of giving head more consideration, he started to realize that he didn’t really care if he was sucking off someone who was trans or not. In fact, it got to the point that he was so excited by the idea of blowing a guy, that he didn’t really care if the guy was gay, straight, trans, or whatever.
Adventures with the dildo. To get things moving, Nick started small. Well, technically he started large, but in terms of how he approaching giving fellatio, he started small. Which is to say, he started off with a dildo. But this only made him even more interested in giving fellatio. It was a challenge he wanted to overcome.
Crossing the lines. Nick admits that he’s not completely straight, but he also points out that he’s not technically bisexual either. Even though he loves the idea of sucking a guy off, he’s not attracted to them. It’s a purely oral fixation. It’s the idea of servicing a guy that gets him rather than the desire to be with a man.![]()
Putting it to the test. When Nick finally felt that he was ready to graduate from dildos to the real thing, he met up with a bisexual fellow and put his mouth to the test. As it turned out, after all of the reading and studying on how to perform the absolute best fellatio, he seemed to have found his life calling. Or, you know, at least his sexual pastime calling.
Both sides. What he’s learned from giving head and reading about giving head and watching videos of people giving head and experiencing the act of actually getting head himself was that there are plenty of ways to master the act. However, he sees a unique upper hand in men who give fellatio for the same reason he sees a similarly unique upper hand in women who perform cunnilingus. They’re more familiar with what they’re working with.
Lessons learned. If there had to be a lesson learned from Nick’s experiences, it’s that people need to not be so uptight when it comes to having sex. If you want a d*ck in your mouth, go for it. Who cares if someone wants to label you? Once you really put your life into perspective, you start to realize that things like blowing a guy aren’t really as significant as they seem.
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