Having sex before marriage is common, but that doesn’t mean that people think it’s necessarily healthy for a relationship. Depending on who you ask, having sex before marriage will either hurt your chances at having a longtime partner or help your chances at getting married. It’s been a hotly studied question and the study results that you get are often dependent on who is giving you the information.
According to the National Survey of Family Growth’s research, having premarital sex won’t necessarily hurt your chances of marriage, but it will hurt your chances of staying together. Women with over 10 partners were most likely to divorce, while women who had no sex partners before marriage were least likely to divorce. No one knows if this is because of the personal beliefs they hold, or because of the issue that sex gives people.
The study went on to show how many women married virgins. Currently, only 5% of people who walked down the aisle had been virgins at the time of marriage. Meanwhile, 18% of all women had 10+ partners before they got married. By those stats alone, that suggests that getting laid won’t hurt your chances at getting married.
The NSFG study also noted that the overall attitude towards sex has changed. It’s no longer seen as unusual to marry without being a virgin. The overall notion that a woman has to be “pure” is now gone in mainstream culture. As a result, men are no longer expecting or even wanting women to be virginal before they get married.
Meanwhile, NextShark’s Anthony Orona was adamant that it’s not premarital sex that’s hurting love as much as it is the hookup mentality. He makes the point that the problem today isn’t the sex. It’s the fact that men and women tend to see others as disposable and that we tend to be more into shallow connections.
A study published in the UK's Telegraph noted that while premarital sex doesn’t hurt your chances of getting married…It does hurt your chances of having a happy marriage. According to the study, people who had a lot more sex partners were less likely to enjoy marriage as a whole.
Many studies were also done on cohabiting - often with a strong insinuation that sex was happening while couples lived together. And what they found was pretty interesting if you’re looking to get a ring. Here’s what the studies said about living in proverbial sin…
One study noted by Thrillist said that cohabitation leads to lower marriage rates. Simply put, it seems like there may actually be something to the phrase of “buying the cow when you get the milk for free.” This study showed that people are way less likely to end up marrying if they already live together and have sex. The reason why? Men get most of the benefits of marriage without a cost.
Additionally, people who cohabitated were also less likely to stay married if they do put on the ring. A study published in More noted that people who shack up are slightly more likely to divorce than those who wait until marriage to live together. The article also noted that it may have something to do with how people think about marriage.
Simply put, every study we found came with the caveat. It was pretty insane. Every article that we found while researching this made a point of saying that there’s a huge correlation between waiting for sex and having very conservative views on marriage. Those with conservative views are more likely to stay in a marriage and “put on a happy face” because of their beliefs.
If people are raised with the belief that marriage HAS to be a vow until the death of a spouse, they won’t divorce. And that belief is one that is very common among people who have been told to wait until marriage to sleep with a man. People who have more progressive views are more likely to be okay with premarital sex.
Additionally, people who are okay with premarital sex are also more likely to be okay with NOT getting married. Cohabitation is not a taboo thing anymore, and in fact, many women actually are more okay with that than to have a legal tie to a guy. Similarly, many men will end up choosing cohabitation over marriage.
If you look at the numbers, it’s just not actually possible to say that premarital sex hurts your chances of having a relationship. 90% of couples are now having premarital sex, and they seem to be okay with it. People are still getting married - albeit less frequently than they once used. to.
However if you are a “wait until marriage” person, you will be able to weed out those with dissimilar morals. And that’s where a large portion of waiting until marriage’s power comes. If a guy is only with you for sex, he’ll leave regardless of what you do. If he’s with you for marriage, he will still be okay with that.
The bottom line is if you feel it’s a moral issue, wait until marriage and you will be more likely to weed out people you wouldn’t mesh with. But if you’re just waiting so that some guy will propose, it probably won’t work that way with you. So, don’t feel too guilty about having premarital sex, okay?
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