What it means to be asexual. For most people, the concept of asexuality isn't something they ever even think about. Most people assume you have a sexual attraction to someone, whether it's a heterosexual attraction, a homosexual attraction, or other. But asexual people are those who do not possess any kind of sexual attraction to others.
Undefined. While "an absence of sexual attraction" is the working definition for asexual people, it still isn't all that clear. Many professional psychologists and sex experts don't even fully understand what it means to be asexual and are still working to figure it out. For instance, it was once thought that this lack of attraction meant asexuals didn't experience sexuality of any type whatsoever, but now that seems to be wrong.
Misconceptions. Because people largely don't understand what it means to be asexual (unless they themselves are asexual) there are a lot of misconceptions about it. It's also hard to understand something with which you have absolutely no familiarity with. One misconception that many people have regarding asexual people is that they just don't experience feelings of sexual pleasure. This is not true.
Asexual people do experience sexuality. We know, this seems like quite a paradox, but it's true. New details are being uncovered about how asexual people experience sexual pleasure and arousal. In fact, not only do they experience sexuality, but a recent study was done to investigate to what degree.
The study. A group of researchers from the University of British Columbia – Morag Yule, Lori Brotto, and Boris Gorzalka – conducted a survey about asexuality involving 739 people. 351 of them defined themselves as asexual and the rest were not, but they were all asked the same questions about their sexual experiences and fantasies. The results of the survey were recently published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.
What they found. What the researchers found upon going through the results of the survey was that they apparently have a lot more work to do when it comes to learning about and classifying asexuals. Not only did they discover that a large amount of the asexuals surveyed actually did have sexual fantasies, but they also found other overlaps between sexual and asexual people.
A lot in common. Even though there is an inherent difference between being sexual and being asexual, the two groups had a lot in common. Almost 50% of asexual women and 75% of asexual men reported having sexual fantasies and masturbating. The kinds of sexual fantasies they had also overlapped. How is this possible, you ask? Well, it comes down to one fundamental difference.
Third person. When it comes to asexual people and their sexual fantasies, the major difference is that they don't include themselves in the fantasy. Basically, all of their fantasies occur in third person where they are the voyeur or the observer. They are aroused by witnessing others engage in sexual behavior, even though they themselves don't feel sexual attraction to others.
Masturbation. When you think about it, masturbation isn't just a behavior reserved for those with sexual orientation. What masturbation comes down to is the realization that if you touch yourself a certain way in certain places, it feels damn good! You don't have to have a sexual preference to feel pleasurable sensations. Asexual people can still taste food like sexual people can, so why can't they feel sexual stimulation like sexual people can?
Sexual fantasies. When it comes to sexual fantasies, this recent survey found that asexual and sexual people both have them. The type of sexual fantasy does slightly differ, though. This is the difference between attraction and non-attraction. An asexual person will usually fantasize about sexual acts that don't involve themselves.
Fetishes. One of the more surprising aspects of the study was that the researchers found that fetishes were included in the sexual fantasies shared by sexual and asexual people. Once again, the fetish itself isn't what is important here, it is how the fetish is approached. Most sexual people put themselves into a fetish scenario for feelings of dominance or power, for example. Asexual people enjoy fetishes for more "objective" reasons.
Works of fiction. Some asexuals who partook in the survey also said that in addition to taking the role of voyeur in their sexual fantasies, their fantasies often revolved around fictional characters. This is particularly intriguing to scientists and psychologists. What is it about fictionalized people that is more appealing than real people?
Most people's sexual fantasies involve themselves. A person who is not asexual will generally involve themselves in a sexual fantasy when they are masturbating or dreaming. They don't just think about the sex act itself, but they get turned on by imagining it happening to them. Basically, sexual people are more self-oriented, which is what also makes them attracted to others.
Still much to be learned. This is one of the first studies of its kind and proves how little we truly know about asexuality. There is clearly much work that is left to be done and much left to learn about asexuals, how they experience sexuality, and what it is that makes them not attracted to other people.
Asexual people who haven't had fantasies. It is important to note, though, that there was still a good amount of people in this study that did not report sexual fantasies. Approximately 20% of asexual men and 35% of asexual women who answered the survey questions said they had never experienced sexual fantasy.
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