I Learned To Really Use My Hands On His Penis At A Seminar, And Here’s What Happened

For some people, just the of sex can trigger spontaneous awkwardness.  But when you incorporate a workshop into the mix, you may as well be screwing with them.  Awkward though it may be, there are, in fact, sex workshops, and for Callie Little of Thrillist, it was hardly the exciting experience that it probably intended to be.  When she attended a workshop for handj*bs, all that it managed to do was leave her traumatized.  Keep reading to learn more about being traumatized after attending a a workshop on how to use your hands on his penis.

Scary sex. Sex can seem scary sometimes (depending on the situation), but it’s safe to say that that’s never been its intention. Entertaining and pleasant though it may be, sex can be a bit overwhelming or intimidating — especially when you harken back to your equally-intimidating school days and implement workshop education into your sex life.

Hands-on. It’s one thing to be turned on by watching someone jerk someone off, but for it to be part of a class, with examples shown by the teacher, no less, the experience can be a bit… awkward. That was exactly the case with sex educator and Thrillist contributor, Callie Little.

A room filled with eager students. Students aren’t typically super thrilled at the idea of sitting in a classroom, but in this case, it was different. It was filled with about the average amount of students you’d find in any other classroom, but they didn’t have their attention on the chalkboard. They had it focused on a man’s penis with a hand wrapped around it.

Front and center. When Little got to the classroom, she was eager. She took a seat in the front row and waited. But it was while she waited that she noticed the instructor and the man who would be jerked off. Right away, she felt the twinge of awkwardness, even commenting on the fact that not simply using a sex toy to practice on was an odd choice.

Spirit c*ck. The class was immediately off to an interesting start when the instructor announced that she has a “spirit, or energy, c*ck.” But she didn’t just mean this figuratively. She explained to the class that she truly feels a penis in between her legs somedays. Because that’s a thing, right?

Likes and dislikes. As if the imminent jacking off of the penis wasn’t going to be awkward enough to watch all on its own, the instructor proceeded to continue the awkwardness, making the experience a deeply strange one to sit through. You might say this was her way of warming up the audience — asking them about their kinks, discussing gender identity, etc. — but that’s not to say it was very inviting.

The stimulation. To get things warmed up, the instructor didn’t just jump right into grabbing the model’s penis. She started grazing her skin and rubbing her hands through his hair, explaining that she was “stimulating his sense.” But once that boring business was over with, she asked to see his wang, and he obliged.

OK, but… why? Even though it’s perfectly healthy to want to learn more about sex, having a workshop for handj*bs may not have been the most useful idea. In Little’s opinion, she really learned nothing from the instructor’s technique that really taught her anything. It was as basic as you may be imagining.

And now, vaginas. Once everyone got a decent idea of what a good handj*b ought to consist of (which was hardly revolutionary), the instructor brought out the second model. The second model was a female, and she introduced herself to the audience by laying on a table, spreading her legs and showing all of herself off to all the strangers in the room.

Firsthand. All in all, watching this kind of business go down was hardly necessary for educational purposes. It was made pretty clear that this was more about how we respond spiritually and emotionally to sex, than it was a live instruction manual. For that, Little was a bit disappointed — but also a bit weirded out.

The imaginary penis. Remember that spirit d*ck that the instructor mentioned? Well, now she was putting it to use. She asked if she could jerk off in front of everyone, and then pulled her pants down, to reveal what was very clearly not a penis. Still, that didn’t stop her from… pretending to jerk it off.

Too much. At this point, people in the audience were leaving. They all must have had a general idea that there was definitely going to be sex involved with the workshop, but the direction that it took was hardly what anyone was anticipating. It even resulted in one member of the audience (a woman who was there with her husband) say “I cannot,” as they up and left.

A profession in sex. When she’s not attending handj*b workshops, she’s basically covering anything else that she can get her hands on (no pun intended) that has to do with sex. Because that’s what she does. Still, that’s not to say that watching someone get jerked off in a classroom isn’t weird.

Here to help. Little attended the workshop for education. She genuinely wanted to learn more about the act of giving the perfect handj*b, because she felt that it was vital that she knows everything there is to know about doing the deed — even if you’re just doing it with your hand. She just never expected it to be such a strange experience.

You do you. Honestly, if you want to learn how to give the greatest handj*b you’ve ever given, you’ve got better options. One option is that you can simply just watch adult films, and learn from what you see. The second option is just going with your gut. But OK, if watching someone do it in a classroom does it for you, then by all means…