Women Reveal How They Made Their Sex Lives Better

Keeping your sex life interesting is not easy, forget what anyone tells you.  Sex seems like it should be natural, like you shouldn’t need anyone’s advice on how to keep it exciting and yet, we do. Often it’s that which is expected to come naturally, that can be the hardest to maintain. From writers to sex therapists, we bring you women who reveal how they made their sex lives better.

Would you try and of these methods? Let us know in the comments!

Talk. Talking about sex may be awkward, but it’s also extremely productive. "Suggest that it might be fun to start trying new things in the bedroom. This is an opportunity to talk about some fantasies you might have, things you like that you maybe haven't tried together, like role-playing, sex toys, or more aggressive sex,” says relationship expert Terri Orcbuch.

Make a list. According to Walsh, women crave sexual novelty just as much as men do. How do you encourage novelty, for yourself and for him? Try a sexual bucket list. Maybe you want to see what the other rooms in your house have to offer as far as sex backdrops.

Stop faking. "You should never fake an orgasm,” says Walsh. “That thing he was doing wrong — he’s now going to keep doing it.” Faking an orgasm is like giving bad directions which you wouldn’t do to a stranger so why do it to your lover?

Fight the lazy. The desire to be lazy can be stronger than you think. It’s your job to fight it when it comes to sex. "If you don't put energy into your relationship, you won't get energy out of it,” says Davidson.

Speak! “Give him the info he needs,” says Satlz. He might not be an entirely visual learner, so it’s important to also let him know if he is or isn’t ascending.

Masturbate in front of him. Gail Saltz is the author of "The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead To a Better Life." She says, "Show him what you do when you're alone.” Some men retreat if they feel like they don’t know how to get you off. This is a great stepping stone to future success.

Fit. For other women, the opposite problem is true. Some women can’t quite accommodate their guy’s size. Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, author of "Pleasuring: The Secrets of Sexual Satisfaction" writes "If you're fully aroused before intercourse, your genitals will be more engorged, giving you a sense of fullness."

Exercise. "When a woman has a negative self-image, she tends to disconnect from how her body feels,” says Joy Davidson, PhD. She recommends doing something that makes you feel good in your own skin, from exercising to a massage.

Check your hormones. If your sex life continues to be a problem, either his or your hormones might be the issue. “If you change your levels of those hormones, you can often increase desire,” says Saltz. Exercise is probably the first way to try and adjust these levels. Medication is also an option.

Guide him. Jennifer Benjamin is a writer for Cosmopolitan with her own twist on the masturbation tip. “Be sure to work in any other go-to moves that help push you over the edge. For extra credit, let him put his hand over yours.”

Deny yourself. It might sound counterintuitive but sometimes the best thing to jump-start your sex life is a lack of sex. "When you're the one doing the touching, concentrate on communicating love and sensuality to your partner," says Berman. "When you're on the receiving end, let yourself feel the sensations of each and every stroke. This will help you reconnect with each other on a whole new level.”

Admire yourself. According to Laura Berman, PhD and author of "The Passion Perception" it’s the way women look at themselves that can be a problem. "They don't see themselves as strong and sexy. Typically, when a woman looks at herself, her eyes go straight to her problem areas. She carries that feeling into the bedroom, and when her partner's kissing her thighs, she's busy thinking, 'God, I'm so fat!’ "

Experiment. If there’s something you want to do in the bedroom but have always been self-conscious, just do it. You need to make that effort if you want anything to change. Experiencing something new and exhilarating together helps replicate that feeling you had in the beginning of your relationship when you couldn't get enough of each other,” says Berman.

Encourage him to try new things. Sex can’t be like your coffee order. It needs to change up. Relationship expert Wendy Walsh, PhD, author of "The 30-Day Love Detox" says “People learn to play each other’s instruments, and then they go to the same two spots. But you become accustomed to that and you can become numb emotionally and physically. Then things just don’t work as well as they did before.”

Too small. Benjamin also has some tips for women whose sex life is faltering because of their man’s size. These tips are purely a matter of execution. "If his equipment lacks length, lie on your back in missionary, and bring one or both of your legs up toward your chest to allow for deeper penetration. Too skinny? Lie on your back or stomach with your legs together — his legs will be outside yours — to create a tighter fit. Too big? Get on top so that you control the depth of penetration.”