Science Says You’re Not Kinky, You’re Totally Normal

If you’re reading this article, you probably have one or two sexual fantasies that you want to try out. You might be worried because they may involve something considered to be kinky or a bit weird. You might be into spanking, bondage, or something else along those lines. Believe it or not, you shouldn’t be worried or ashamed it it. According to science, you’re totally normal if vanilla doesn’t always cut it. Here’s the scoop, thanks to YourTango.Do you have a strange kink you’ve been worried about revealing to your partner? Tell us your story in the comments below. 

Kink can take on a lot of different forms. It can be a thing for a certain body part (like feet), or it can be a thing for watching other people get it on in front f you. Everyone can list off at least one or two things that people do in the bedroom that isn’t exactly the normal vanilla sex with a partner in a relationship.

And, for the most part, we’ve kept these fantasies behind closed doors. Which is why actually hearing about kinky people has not really happened until recently. But, according to multiple surveys, there’s reason to believe that everyone gets a little bit kinky in the bedroom from time to time.

One team of researchers in Canada decided to find out exactly how “normal” kinky behavior is. The team had decided to poll a 717 men and 799 women, all with an average age of 30, to talk about the fantasies that they had. The research team had decided to place 55 different fetishes and fantasies out there to find out whether or not participants fantasized about them.

The researchers decided to to have guidelines on what may be considered common. Anything that was given to more than 84.5% of the population’s respondents was “typical.” They decided that if over 50% of the pollers said that they were into a kink, it was common.

There were also guidelines on what was unusual, and downright strange to see. Uncommon fantasies happened between 48% and 25% of the population. Unusual fantasies were fantasies that had anywhere from 2.4% to 24% of the population into it. Then, the rare kinks were the ones that occur in less than 2.3% of the population.

What they found was that there were quite a few typical and common kinks. Threesomes, watching women have sex, and having sex in an unusual place all topped the list as the most common kinks. Interestingly, having sex with two women was typical for men - but unusual for women.

Other common to slightly uncommon kinks included… Group sex, watching people undressed, being tied up, sexually dominating someone, being dominated, and having sex with strangers. Interestingly enough, group sex with three or more partners was a fantasy of over 50% of women, but only 16% of men.

Some of the common fantasies that were just short of meeting the official “common” mark included being filmed during sex. 41% of women wanted to be ejaculated on during sex. Meanwhile, only 18% of women wanted to sleep with a younger partner - while 57% of men wanted the same. Around 1/3 of all respondents wanted to be spanked or forced to have sex. So, chances are that you’ve had a lot of kinks that are really not that freaky.

Surprisingly, there were some fantasies that were written in by participants, and that were male-only. These included having sex with a transwoman, being on the receiving end of pegging, and being cuckolded. Cuckolding, interestingly, was a fantasy that was written in by 8% of the participants.

Some fetishes which are considered very taboo by some were actually just unusual or uncommon - not rare. For example, 1/3 of women wanted to have sex with 3 or more men, while only 13% of men did. Meanwhile, 40% of men wanted to have sex with a sex worker, compared to 12.5% of women. And, it was revealed that men were twice as likely to fantasize about forcing someone to have sex (22% versus 11% of women).

But, there were some things that were notably unusual. Urinating on a partner or being urinated on was considered to be unusual. Crossdressing was found to be unusual, as was exhibitionism. Less than 16% of all respondents admitted that they liked these things. So, if you have any of these fetishes, you may be legit kinky.

Shockingly, out of all 55 fantasies, there were only two that were considered to be rare. The two rare fantasies were having sex with children, or having sex with animals. According to the survey, these fantasies occurred in less than 2.3% of the population. If you have these fantasies, you may need professional help.

However, it was overwhelmingly clear that having a couple of weird kinks doesn’t make you a freak. Since over 80% of the population seems to like to have sex with a twist once in a while, it’s safe to say that you are most likely totally normal. So, don’t be ashamed about it. You’re not weird - it’s human nature.

Moreover, in the past, there have been scientific studies that have shown that some kinks may actually be an evolutionary trait. For example, foot fetishism might be a way that we evolved to avoid sexually transmitted diseases. After all, you can’t get syphilis or gonorrhea from a foot.

Do you think that they should have focused on certain kinks that weren’t featured in the survey? We think that being kinky has been taboo for way too long. Tell us what you think about the survey, its findings, and the way people view kink in the comments below.